Let's go!

One step closer. Today is CD1.
To do list:
- call CCRM
- make it through phone tree to nurse voicemail
- leave message for nurse
- talk to nurse at CCRM
- negotiate transfer date
- talk to D
- book air tickets
- book hotel
- book rental car
- pickup drugs (vivelle patches)
- chill.

In an 'in the meantime' update, I'm going to post before and after pictures of our project room. This weekend we get to clear the room and tear up the carpet. Can you say F-U-N ! ! !

In the meantime...

See that little ticker over there? That's how much time I have to kill before being able to move on with my life. I'm going batcrazy in the meantime!

We're (I'm) doing some projects around the house. I have grand visions of picking up a new hobby or skill or three. Let's make curtains! Sure! Try Yoga? Great idea! Pick all the weeds out of the lawn by hand! Oh Yeah, sign me up! Ok, some are more realistic than others, but there's nothing wrong with dreaming big.

An FET update... this week we're thinking of transferring both embryos. Transferring 2 increases the success rates. Also provides definite closure. Talk amongst yourselves (ala coffee talk SNL style).

Resolve Rocks

I always enjoy our Resolve group meetings- so welcome to my fellow resolve peeps!

It's nice to know we're not alone in this journey. Infertility affects 1 in 8 people trying to conceive. There are alot more helpful resources over on the Resolve website.

Here are some of my favorite little tidbits: (from their website)

Myth: It's all in your head! Why don't you relax or take a vacation. Then you'll get pregnant!

Fact: Infertility is a disease or condition of the reproductive system. While relaxing may help you with your overall quality of life, the stress and deep emotions you feel are the result of infertility, not the cause of it. Improved medical techniques have made it easier to diagnose infertility problems.

Myth: Don't worry so much -- it just takes time. You'll get pregnant if you're just patient.

Fact: Infertility is a medical problem that may be treated. At least 50% of those who complete an infertility evaluation will respond to treatment with a successful pregnancy. Some infertility problems respond with higher or lower success rates. Those who do not seek help have a "spontaneous cure rate" of about 5% after a year of infertility.

Goin' back to Denver

FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer)plans are underway. Of course my body hasn't gotten the memo yet. We need to wait until CD 1 again to book the flights, hotel, car. The ticker over there is our 'goal' date for the FET, but who knows if my body will cooperate! Last cycle was a crazy long 35 days.

I am getting excited to be done with all of this crap. Regardless of the outcome. (still not conviced a baby will result from any of this)

Scheduling CRAZY TALK

The FET is scheduled for Friday September 26th in Denver. It'll just be a long weekend trip-- going out there on Thursday and returning on Sunday or Monday.
The added bonus for a FET is that there are NO PIO shots involved! Those are the big, thick, nasty butt shots with thick oily liquid you have to 'inject' into some spot on your butt you can't see. They're awful.

Now is when we start the crazy talk...
my due date would be June 15th, 2009. That's D's birthday.

I still don't really believe a baby could be the result of all of this. No way. Not possible. Seriously can't put my mind around it. The thought of me being actually pregnant is just beyond comprehension... I doubt I'd believe it even if it does happen someday. I'm definitely not holding my breath on that happening!

To answer Cindy's question about embryo #2, it's for 'later' use perhaps with a surro, or to complete our family after adopting... or for child #3. We have agreed that either 2 or 3 kids are OK. Having an only is not OK. (it sucked being an only)

Decisions, decisions made.

We will do a FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer) as soon as possible. Only thawing 1 and transferring 1 embryo.
(when that doesn't work...)
Then we will adopt from Russia.
(that WILL work)

Time to call CCRM and set things up!

Creating Family

As I write this, I am in a small cottage in a very small town on a small(ish) island. Where D happens to be related to a good 50% of the population going back 200 years. We're here for a family reunion. Where saying "I'm a Smith", means something. Where you can be a complete foreigner, not know a single person until someone sees your name and then you're *instant* family. All of a sudden a large portion of the restaurant we were at today became Family. Family who invites you over for dinner. Family who asks you if you've hear from so and so. Voila. Roots.

A lot of times we take these things for granted as the pace of daily life is awfully fast. I usually consider myself accomplished if we get to eat dinner a) together and b) before 9pm and c) not take-out!

It's very clear here about how many kids everyone has had. The Family is so large because generation after generation produced 6+ children per descendant. It's kind of amazing if you think about it. We got a genealogy book of the lineage, where we are just listed as one line. And then it stops.

Can we list our two frozen embryos as decendants? Maybe? Please? We worked really hard for them! No, really... you might have been able to have 3 or 4 kids easily (or 5 in 5 years as I heard someone say yesterday), but these two little groupings of cells came at a very high cost. And are very much loved. They are already a part of the family, as are the other twenty embryos that never made it along the way.

So now it's down to these two frozen little guys. Then the biological road ends for us.

I don't have an answer as to where we'll turn next.

Child-free is not an option.