Thursday, March 29, 2007

Good bye Liesie's fishey

Today is a sad day in my house. Liesie's fishey, appropriately named "fishey", went to his final resting place this morning. Well, wherever the city sewer ends up, that is. Fishey hadn't been looking too good for a couple of days. Not swimming around, fins looking a little ragged, and he wouldn't eat his little fishey pellets. The End Is Near. I found Fishey lying on the bottom of the tank on his side, not moving this morning. It's Time To Go.

Fishey belonged to Liesie. Who's Liesie you might ask? Liesie is my oldest cat who just turned TEN last week. Fishey and his brother Other Fishey were a Christmas present to Liesie in 2002. She loves water, and my mom had goldfish and she loved watching the tank. So Liesie got goldfish for christmas. 2 25 cent feeder goldfish provided YEARS of endless entertainment for Liese. She'd sit on the counter in front of the tank and watch them. Thwap, thwap, thwap. Her tail would swat the counter, swishing back and forth. Sometimes she'd want to get right up to them at "fish eye level" and sit in the sink to watch them.

Rest in Peace little Fishey. Liesie loved you so much. God bless.

Sunday, March 25, 2007

spring has sprung

The weather was GORGEOUS today, and I did a lot of yardwork. It's great to get things cleaned up outside and see the spring bulbs bloom. In the spirit of Spring and turning over a new leaf, our follow-up consult with the RE is on April 5. I'm thinking of doing the next / LAST IVF cycle in July, which would mean starting the meds in June/ end of May.

In the meantime, I am trying to come up with a backup plan. When it doesn't work. And more money is down the drain, more time has passed and we are still childless. This brings me to adoption. D is not so keen on the idea yet.

It might seem a bit drastic of a step, since no one has ever said we CAN'T get p/g and carry a baby to term on our own, it's just the liklihood of that happening is very low. I don't want to be 40 and childless. I'd prefer to not be 35 and childless. Heck, I'm not too happy with being 32 and childless, but you get my drift... That means we would at least have one child (adopted) and then if we were blessed with a biological child, then we would have two. Insta-family.

Any thoughts on this prospect, oh blog readers?

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

on being boring...

I would apologize for not updating my blog sooner, but well, I'm not sorry. You see, I've been *trying* to take a step back from the computer. To not check FF 20 times a day, not blog-stalk my fellow bloggers. To not calculate the due dates if I got pg on X, Y and Z dates. I think I might donate the maternity clothes I've accumulated w/ the last two pregnancies. Hope, while short lasted, tends to make me shop. Ok, on Ebay. For really good prices. Surely there are some women who are in need of new-with-tags maternity wear who are more fortunate than I in "other" ways.

On a different note, today I joined W*ight W*tchers. I would like to lose about 20lbs. I don't have more to say about that, it is what it is.

As of this writing, I'm thinking of July for doing another cycle. That would mean starting the meds in June, then July for the ER and ET, then another 10 days or so before knowing if it worked. Then I'm done. DONE. The drugs are so hard on your (my) system, not to mention the let down when my body fails me yet again. It's something I have no control over, that ticks me off.

I don't know what's after the July IVF... other than NOT another IVF ! ! !

I'll try to be better about posting. Having a working computer helps.

Wednesday, March 7, 2007

technical difficulties

While this could apply to several aspects of my life recently, today we're talking about my 'puter.

This is the 4th time in 2 years that the power source on my laptop has gone kaput. It was my last straw. Battery died, power cord #1 died, power cord #2 died, now the laptop outlet itself decided to break. I'm DONE. So, compliments of the State of Ohio Bureau of Taxation I'm the proud new owner of a very sleek black MacBook. D calls it a "macincrap", but whatever. The power cord gets 100 bonus points right off the bat because it is attached magnetically versus relying solely on the little prongy things. I haven't owned a Mac in a good 12 years, so this should be interesting.

I at least need to get some kind of power to the dead one to get all my stuff off of it. What a pain.

Whew! Who knew I had it in me to not talk about IF related things on my blog? That's refreshing!

Sunday, March 4, 2007


Translation for those of you in the non-ttc world: today is 3 Days Past (my) Big Fat Negative (pregnancy test). Today I am ok. I'm fine with taking some time off. I really don't have much to say about what's next. Well, other than this month is a month 'off' and I have the month to think things over.

I'm gearing up for going to the gym w/ D on Monday. We can be idiot newbies together. It should be interesting.

Friday, March 2, 2007

The day after

Well, I am strangely relieved today. No more drugs. No more shots. No more waiting to find out anything. I can do whatever I want. Heck, I could even *gasp* have a Drink.

I did join a gym today. Coincedentally, D joined too. He just doesn't know it yet. :-)

Now is the time to tackle some house projects, and make more of an effort to spend more time with our child-free friends.

Spring is around the corner, the cats are all in sunspots in the great room, and my windows need cleaned. It's almost time to do some gardening. That'll keep me occupied, that's for sure.

Thursday, March 1, 2007

Game Over

Well, it's official. I'm not pregnant. The blood test (aka 'beta') was negative this morning. I could have told you that as early as Sunday, but there's this damn thing called hope.
I have to go back for another beta tomorrow just to confirm that it's negative and not a lab error or something. (yeah right) The ONLY upside at this point is that I get to stop the huge shots nightly and actually carry a laundry basket downstairs. Lovely.

So, what's next? We're currently taking donations (monetary, not egg or sperm (well, not yet!))for another cycle. I think I would like to try another one, with perhaps a different med protocol. Perhaps get a 2nd opinion or try another clinic? I don't know. At minimum we can't cycle again until May.

If a 2nd IVF/ICSI cycle fails, I have absolutely no idea what we'd do. Gestational surrogate? Egg donor? Adopt? No clue. There are "options", none of them particularly good and all quite costly.

The action plan for TODAY is to join a gym and weight watchers.

Well, maybe I'll do that tomorrow. ;-)