Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Belated: Birth Story, June 3, 2009.

Albeit belated, here is the *looong* birth story. It was QUITE an event, for sure.

Well, the story begins the night before the induction. My blood pressure had spiked again to a lovely 170/110. I called the on call doctor, who said to go on in to L&D and to bring 'all my stuff', as they'd probably keep me until the induction the next morning. So, of course my blood pressure went back down by the time we got there, and L&D was full/ too busy due to the full moon. They sent us home at 1:30am, and we were told to come back at 8am for the induction. I was wired, and didn't get to sleep until about 3:30am.

Fast forward to the induction. The pitocin got started around11am. I was still only 1cm dilated and about 80% effaced. At 1pm, they decided to make things more interesting by breaking my waters. Strangely this didn't hurt nearly as much as an internal exam, though the warm gush of fluid was really weird. An hour or two later, I was having painful back labor and asked for drugs. I guess it was too early for the epidural, so I got some nubain. It made my eyes really loopy, but took the pain away for a good couple of hours. Finally it was time for the epidural. (I'm not sure what time it was by this point) It really wasn't as bad as I had expected! Then I continued to nap. Naps are good. When it was getting closer to the time for me to push, the pain kept getting worse. I asked if I the epidural was still working- so they called in the anesthiologist, who did some kind of pain test by scratching on my belly. My belly was totally numb, but my crotch was NOT! The Dr. said my epi was working just fine, and I didn't need more meds. I could still feel and move my feet, and I definitely felt everything else. The contractions were probably a little less painful, but that's about it. I had seen one of those BabyStory shows w/ a natural birth and remember them talking about the pushing and how you have to push through the 'ring of fire' when the head is crowning. Yeah.... I felt that! There's no way I should have felt that w/ an epidural... Anywho...

While the pitocin was running the contractions kept coming. They had to turn it off for me /baby to rest twice after the baby was in distress. Without the pitocin, the contractions stopped progressing altogether, which made the whole process last longer. (12:45 total from induction until birth)

I'd say it was 10-ish when it was determined that I was ready to push... we did that for a little bit, but it jacked my blood pressure and dropped my oxygen levels. Enter the oxygen mask. My crappy lungs did not have an easy time of the whole 'hold your breath and push' thing. I hyperventilated a lot and had a very difficult time breathing in general. At one point (I think), the baby was in distress again and things got serious. My doctor said we needed to get the baby out NOW. (ugh)
By this point I had been 'in labor' since 11am (it's probably 11pm at this point), and my water had been broken for 8 hours. Because the baby wasn't progressing as quickly as everyone would have liked, my Dr. decided to use the vacuum to assist in the birth. I would have agreed to just about anything at this point! Just

Even with the vacuum and an (very) extensive episiotomy, the birth was difficult. Baby was BIG... I am NOT. David said there was no slithering, and he did NOT come flying out like you see on TV. Windsor Foster was born at 11:45pm. And then things got really interesting!

They (nurses, I'd assume) whisked the baby over to the warmer to assess and clean him up. While this is going on, my Dr. was trying to deliver the placenta. I don't think it was budging, or I couldn't push it out, or something. All I know is that it was a Problem. I couldn't hear Windsor cry, so I frantically asked if he was ok. (he was) I guess when I got the answer I began to sob. At this point, what I'm writing I have NO recollection of. I've pieced it together between what David and my Dr. told me happened.

I then turned white as a ghost and closed my eyes and stopped breathing. I had passed out. The doctor called it a vegel reaction. I seized, they called a 'code blue' (think ER!) and a gazillion doctors and nurses came running. David got whisked out of the room with Windsor and a nurse. The last person he saw running down to my room was the hospital chaplain. By that time someone had told him I was going to be ok, but can you imagine? I don't know what they did to bring me around, but I had a very large bruise on my right arm from *something* involving that ordeal.

We were kept in Labor and Delivery until 4am when everyone was satisfied that I was stable enough to go down to recovery. Usually you're kept for an hour post-delivery and are then transferred to the post-partum recovery area. I was kept for 4. I was extremely weak, swollen, tired, and in pain. Once down in 'recovery' they woke me up every hour (super annoying, but necessary) and my (still) sky high blood pressure. Once it was morning, my Dr. came back in to check on me and ordered the blood transfusion to help with my anemia. A normal person's iron level is 12. Mine was 6. That's one of the factors that contributed to the complications during delivery. After I got 2 units of blood my levels went up to 9. As I write this they're at about 10.5.

Well, you might be wondering where the baby went for all of that. He was taken to the nursery for the night and I didn't see him until 10-ish the next morning. I really was still too weak to deal with him, and I was told to not breast feed until I had more strength back. David sprung him from the nursery / 'baby jail' around 10am the next morning, and Windsor hung out with us for most of the day. Grandparents all visited (and were thrilled as punch to meet baby Windsor!) and I got the blood transfusions-- it took about 4 hours to 'download', and I slept for most of that time. Apparently I still looked awful / white as a ghost... The phone kept ringing with well wishes, and David told people to not come to visit- I was pretty weak and not up to dealing with people. (grandparents included, but you can't say no to them!) Windsor was doing really well on his first day on the 'outside' --loving his formula bottles and making the appropriate wet / dirty diapers. His apgar scores were 8 / 9 at the 1 and 5 minute marks post birth. That's great! This whole time it's always been *me* that's the problem; baby Win has been completely perfect. (he *is* genetically perfect, you know. lol)

Friday morning (2nd day after delivery) my OB stopped by, and said I could be released if my blood work improved enough. Thankfully it had. We were released (only had to sign ONE piece of paper! You have to sign more to adopt a cat these days!) Around 4pm and were on our way HOME. Ok, so we stopped at McDonald's (baby's 1st McD's) and the bank on the way. If anything, it was nice to be home and in my own bed and eat my own food again. While I did feel a lot better after the blood transfusion, my blood pressure was still really high and I was still rather weak. I was put back on bed rest for the whole next week. David's parents were really helpful in caring for Win and letting me 'rest' (eg: sleep... alot...), albeit I was a little miffed at them for being 'baby-hogs'. I was back at the Dr. on Monday and Wednesday the week after he was born. My blood pressure started to go down, and the fluid I was retaining started to come off. Somehow I lost (peed) 7lbs between Monday and Wednesday. Nuts!
David had planned to go back to work that Wednesday, but because I was not even close to 100%, he took off the rest of the week. I got the OK to drive again when he went back to work on the 15th. Yay! Mind you I had been on bed rest for 2-3 weeks before delivery, so I was dying to get out of the house and do *something*. Anything... outside of the house.

My next OB appt isn't for another three weeks- that'll be my 6 week follow-up. I'm supposed to be all 'healed', but who knows if that's really the case. I still can't tell how extensive the stitches were, other than that David tells me that she spent a 'long time sewing you up'. Mmmmm hmmmm.
It surprises me each day how much better I feel. I didn't realize how bad I really felt before delivery! I felt BAAAAD. Like I probably should have been in the hospital bad. I do wonder why I didn't get the blood transfusion before the birth, but perhaps it's bad to do that w/ a pregnant woman. I don't know. (another thing to ask at my 6w appt) I wonder what she'll say about how to manage another pregnancy. This pregnancy was generally pretty OK until 34-36 weeks when the blood pressure went wacko. I was anemic at the beginning, and had bad all-day sickness, but nothing life threatening or too unusual.

One of my close friends is also expecting- she's about 4 weeks behind me and had talked to her OB about what had happened to me. Her Dr. said that they did everything right, and that my Dr. didn't do a c-section because of the anemia-- that I would have probably bled out on the table. I had *no idea* it was "that bad". (it was worse!) The delivery was 'that bad' because there wasn't really any other choice to get him out since a c/s was too risky. The more I think about it and hear about other people's experiences, mine sounds all that worse.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

A long overdue post.

Well, I totally suck for not updating you all in so long! But you're still not going to get the whole she-bang in this post. Ok, maybe a little update...

I have been having issues with high blood pressure for the past three weeks, and have gone from 'restricted activity' to 'full bed rest'. Thankfully on Friday my Dr. said enough was enough and we could schedule an induction date. SO, Wednesday June 3rd, 2009 is the Big Day.

Here's a little photo recap of the past oh, 12 months. We began this IVF cycle in June 2008 out at Colorado Center for Reproductive Medicine in Lone Tree, Colorado. I *heart* CCRM.

38w pregnant, full bed rest with lots of animal assistance. May 2009

36w 4d pregnant. May 2009.

It's a gummy bear! November 2008.

Our 2 6day blastocysts at transfer time (FET). Sept 22, 2008.

*Some* of the meds needed for our Hail Mary cycle at CCRM. June 2008.

Now, this blog is NOT going to turn into a mommy-blog or baby-blog, or whatever. I am creating a new spot for the baby stuff as to keep this blog about Infertility and the like. The new blog is over at One More Baby Blog. It'll be completely open for now, but I might take it private depending on how things go. I know I have a lot of lurkers, so please post a comment or email if you want to be included when/if I take it private.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Dr Surrey fan club.

Today was our (phone) consult w/ Dr. Surrey about what to do about #2. He was super congratulatory on the pregnancy, asking how I was doing, how the pregnancy was going, etc. The big hang-up with #2 is what to do about breast feeding. It's apparently a big deal. Everyone (and their cousin) says to breastfeed, and then has a caveat (which I"m not going to get into here...). Dr. Surrey said that he didn't want cycling to get in the way of breast feeding, BUT that I would fall into the should cycle ASAP category. W/O BF'ing, he'd like to see 1-2 'normal' cycles before doing testing again. (wants to repeat FSH, Clomid challenge test and do a hysteroscopy to see how the uterus has fared). After the testing, he said I could cycle as soon as the cycle after that. (can you imagine??)

WITH breast feeding, he said a period should generally come back in 6 months, and then do the testing 1-2 cycles after the period has returned. But some women don't see a return of their regular cycle (I was always a regular cycler, thankfully!) until completely weaning altogether. So really, who knows. *shrug*

We said we'd like to do the same thing again, and just not transfer the embies until a later date... he said that was a perfectly fine idea, and there was no ill effects seen by them of leaving the embies vitrified for a longer period of time. Since we did CGH, he said he'd probably recommend that again, but now micro-array was another option. He said that the technology isn't ready yet, but there's more potential for micro-array to test for more things than just chromosomes (CGH only does chromosomes).

So, in summary, the SOONEST I could cycle for #2 would be w/o breast feeding, and could be as early as October. (2 months for cycle to appear, one cycle to do the testing, then do stims the next cycle-- so that'd be 4 cycles from delivery). The LATEST would be well, um... never- already missed the boat. Regardless of *when*, I'm worried that the testing results alone will put me out of the running to cycle again.

One of his final comments was "Enjoy your pregnancy, I'm not going anywhere." Kind, but not exactly comforting to a paranoid semi-infertile.

ETA: D and I do not agree on what to do next, or when... he also heard a completely different conversation than I did w/ Dr. Surrey. Breast feeding is still an issue we have to work out.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Happy Easter!

Easter... ahhh, another one of those kid-centric holidays. Usually it's a low-key weekend with maybe a family dinner involved. This year Cynthia became Catholic, so we went to the 3-hour Easter Vigil Mass. Today we went over to my brother's house for family dinner (at 3pm, I never really did understand that). Today wraps up a very *busy* week in the fertile world around us! FOUR of our friends/family told us they were pregnant. Only one was remotely expected.
Big congrats go out to:
Donna 14w along
Marnie 16w along
Lori 17w along
Patricia 5w along after IVF #2 at SIRM in LA. (they transferred 2 5day blasts after not having any make it to ET for IVF #1!)

All of these would usually be seriously traumitizing announcements to hear. Tho now I strangely don't care. You know, congrats to them and all that, but I'm not internalizing it as horrible news, and oh-woe-is-me... I find that kind of surprising.

In other 'moving on' news, we have a phone consult set up w/ Dr. Surrey on the 21st to talk about #2. I don't know if it's even possible to use my eggs, will I have to do the testing again? How long do we have to wait? Will breast feeding mess with any of the hormones up more, do I need to not BF to proceed w/ this? Lots of unknowns.

What I *do* know is that when the testing was finished in May 08, Surrey said we had to cycle ASAP if we wanted to use my eggs. And now it'll be at least a year later. It's at least worth asking the questions before making any decisions (of course!). If we are able for me to cycle again, it probably would be ASAP. We would do the same genetic testing and then a later FET. But really, I'm not that crazy to have intentional 'Irish twins'. We'd probably leave 'em frozen for a year or two, then do the FET. If not, well... ummm... then it's back to the drawing board. Having only one child has never been an acceptable option for either of us.

Oh, and I'm almost 32w along, all is well... so now I'm just going to move on to the Next Big Thing to obsess about!

What? Labor and delivery? Isn't that the Next Big Thing? Well, perhaps.... but I'm enjoying denial again. It's quite lovely.

Friday, April 10, 2009


Ok, so I've totally ignored my blog for a good month now. I have some catching up to do! Please scroll down to read the updates, I'm back dating things as they happened so it'll be accurate time-wise... (for posterity!)

TODAY's news is that baby's coming home outfit arrived. I hemmed and hawed over it for months, and finally decided I couldn't find anything cuter, so went ahead and bought it. It's *adorable*.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Do you know how to 'have a baby'?

D has always been insistent that we take classes to 'prepare' ourselves for the baby's arrival. I prefer denial... I'll deal with it when it's happening. Regardless of whatever class you do or don't take, the baby *is* coming out! So, last Sunday we had our 8 hour "how to have a baby' class at the hospital I'll be delivering at. It was semi-useful. I *did* get almost an hour massage/back rub out of it during the relaxation techniques segment. It was a loooong day. I know D was glad to have gone. Now he thinks we should take (or I should, at minimum) a 'baby care' class. Ugh. We'll see.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

The Big Baby Shower

The weekend after we got back from London was The Big Baby Shower. It totally snuck up on me, and I definitely had mixed emotions about the event. Everything was just lovely, everyone was SO nice and genuinely happy for me. And holy cow there were a lot of gifts! (but isn't that the point, really?) I really never thought I'd be the recipient of one of these things. Other people have baby showers... those fertiles... I'm just glad I didn't cry!

The cake! (thank you Krista)

(some of) the decorations (thank you Cynthia)

The requisite profile belly pic

The haul. I'm so glad it all fit in the car.

Thursday, March 12, 2009


Most people thought we were crazy to go on a vacation so far along in the pregnancy. And then they found out we went to London! In hindsight, yes it was crazy. Very Crazy. But the opportunity presented itself, D's boss said 'yes', and so we went.
London, England was D's #1 place in the world he wanted to go. We had always talked about going, but either time or money was a problem. D wanted to go before we had kids. So, um... well... tick tock, tick tock.
He had a fabulous time. We ate lots of asian food, fish-n-chips and went to LOTS of museums. D is a WWII buff and has a slight infatuation with Winston Churchill (one of our cats is named Churchill) and pretty much anything war or airplane related. We went to 4 (FOUR) war museums, including a huge aviation museum in Duxford (not so near Cambridge). I can report that all of the cafe's in the museums were the same, as were the items in all of the gift shops. D swears I can pick the next vacation spot, which will involve lots of beach/pool time, palm trees, blender drinks and the like. And not a museum in sight!
Here are some of the highlights:
D at the Imperial War Museum, Duxford... they actually restore the planes here. Can you stand it?!?

Evidence: we were here. Trafalgar Square. The weather was really nasty that day.

This sign was on all of the tube trains, but no-one ever paid attention to them.

Look kids! SUN! In England! We went on the London Eye. It was actually pretty cool. Btw, I'm the p/g one here. Not D.

Westminster Abbey. Note the guys standing just under the round stained glass window. I'm still miffed they didn't allow photos inside, *and* charged admission...

I have no idea what these buildings are, but it's near Downing Street. The sunset and sky colors here are gorgeous! I actually took this photo b/c we both thought it's be a great place to let the dogs run. They'd love it!

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Back from London!

Well, we're back from London (the kind-of-babymoon) and I'm almost recovered from sheer exhaustion! Everything is fine w/ the baby, tho my left ankle has seemingly disappeared behind some really great fluid. I'll update more in a bit, I just wanted to let everyone know I was still alive!

This is me (and baby Windsor) at Windsor Castle... wouldn't you think it was cool to have a castle named after you, too?

Sunday, February 22, 2009

New things in the house.

So, I got a phone call on Friday saying that the crib we ordered came in. Great! D and I went over to pick it up on Saturday, since it might as well sit here instead of in the store's warehouse.

Yeah. There's a crib in our crib. Like one of those things you put a *baby* in. (and then they proceed to scream for an hour and it's 4 am, but of course *our* baby won't do that, right?)

The nursery is going to be painted sometime in March, shower #1 is on March 14th, shower #2 is May 2nd. We even signed up for a 'how to have a baby' class at the hospital I'll be delivering at. How much more real can this get, people? And yet I'm still really in disbelief. I kind of feel like we're playing 'baby', and it's all pretend and someone's going to come and pick everything up and take it away. Or I'll end up donating everything. *something*

Oh, I digress... next appt is at 25w1d- this Wednesday. Only thing notable is the gestational diabetes test where I have to drink this neon orange pop type drink.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009


Today marks week 24 of this pregnancy and the VIABILITY milestone. That means there's (about) a 50% chance of taking home a live baby right now. Those odds go up with each day that I remain pregnant. We're not talking about disabilities, micro-preemie issues or that sort of thing, just the general concept. I'm not having any issues that would make pre-term labor a reality or anything like that. I don't expect a baby to arrive before the end of May. But if he *does* decide to get the show going, his odds of survival increase from this point on.

For me, that's a huge reality check. There will (most likely) be a BABY in this house this year. (woah) A baby that is 50% me, and 50% D. Amazing. Not a single day goes by where I don't think about CCRM and Dr. Surrey and how they made this possible.
THANK YOU CCRM, for giving us hope and the possibility of a child. Thank you.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Happy Valentine's Day


This was our dinner this eve, our 4th annual Valentine's pizza!

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Nothing to report

I guess it has been business as usual around here. There seems to be something growing in my belly... but other than that, nothing big to report. :-)

Here is the latest belly photo taken today at 23w1d.

One more week until the baby has more than a 50% chance of survival outside of the womb. That's a huge pregnancy milestone to pass, and I'm quite thrilled to almost be there.

I guess that's it. No news is good news, right?

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

A good report

Everything was OK at the u/s appt this afternoon. Baby is measuring fine with 'long arms and legs'.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Halfway there

As I was telling a friend yesterday, I have an easier time believing there's a cantaloupe in my tummy than a baby. I hope everything goes smoothly at tomorrow's ultrasound. I'm kind of just waiting for the bottom to fall out. We're still at the point where if something, *anything* happens, we still have NO BABY. So maybe I'll bond a little bit more once we hit viability at 24 weeks gestation? I can hope. Maybe seeing the baby tomorrow will help. In theory, talking about 'having a baby' is fine and all, but when you get down to it, the actual US HAVING A BABY is still totally surreal.

I seriously wake up every.single.morning and am amazed at what is happening to my body. It's really strange for things to be changing like they are. Heck, since when in our lifetime was weight gain good? I've been reading labels again at the grocery store, buying the highest calorie stuff I can find. From bread (120 calories a slice) to milk (whole), it's just a whole different mind set.

Just because *I* don't believe it, doesn't mean this whole pregnancy/baby thing isn't happening anyways. Over the weekend we went crib shopping and picked one out. I ordered it yesterday, so it should be in in "30-60 days". No rush. We have all the other requisite furniture, so we just got the crib out of the set pictured below.

The other exciting news is that D and I are going on a vacation! This will be our first non-family trip since a 4day long weekend back in May '06. We're going to D's #1 place to see in the entire world. London. It's just for a week, and as I told him, it's not a 3rd world country. It'll be fine. He's never been out of the country, so he's VERY excited. I'm content to sit my fat butt down on a bench in any of the 8 gazillion museums we'll probably go to and read a book while he looks at each and every piece in the museum's collection.

I'll update more tomorrow when I get home from the u/s. Our appt is at 1pm, so it'll be mid-late afternoon before I get home.

Friday, January 16, 2009

It's cold here.

This is a completely unrelated post... just had to share this photo from my car dash this evening.

Friday, January 9, 2009

Another first: 18w3d


Here's another first-- first belly picture. Still surreal.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

I survived!

This evening was one of the most surreal events yet... a friend and I registered for all-things-baby at That Store. And I'm alive to tell the story! There was no puking or nausea, and we only took a half hour dinner break. Most of the bases are covered as far as baby junk is concerned.

I still have a hard time believing there will be a baby in this house in June. It's just crazy, I tell ya!

Thursday, January 1, 2009

A new year, a new beginning

I haven't posted recently because I haven't had much to say. We travelled to see my parents over Christmas, and now we have a house full of family (in laws) for more holiday festivities.

I am clearly showing these days, (pictures to follow, I promise!) but I'm not feeling any movement yet. It still seems rather surreal. Like the ball could just drop at any moment, and voila, we still don't have a baby. As I told my SIL this eve, I don't think I'll truly calm down until the baby is born. See? Even just referring to *him* as 'the baby'? I'm trying to keep my distance. We even have a name picked out, but I'm just nervous about putting all of those emotions on the baby, you know?

I'm still waiting for my guarantee of a baby... my ticker tells me how much longer I have to wait. This pregnancy thing is for the birds. Interestingly, I was never one of those women who just 'had' to be pregnant. It's one of those experiences I was rather ambivalent about. And honestly so far, I am *NOT* impressed with this whole pregnancy crap. Just give me the kid already, ok?
Because of those sentiments, adoption (we're looking at Russian adoption) seems perfect on all counts. You sign on the line and they get you a kid. *poof* The kid is about 12 months old-- none of the newborn stuff to deal with. Ok, yes, there are usually significant *other* issues to be dealt with. I'm just using this as an example!

Anywho, there might be a light at the end of the tunnel. So of course then people ask what we're going to do about #2. Riiiiiiight. Great call asking a pregnant chick what her plans are for being pregnant again. Since a natural conception is not possible for us (read the right hand column if you've forgotten that we have ISSUES), it's either back for another IVF/ICSI cycle, or adopt. BUT... our RE said we had to cycle when we did in June 07 because my eggs are crap and if we waited longer we'd be talking donor eggs for sure. So do we take the chance that it doesn't work? Or go straight to adoption for *double the money*. It's a tough call.

For the moment, this preggo chick greatly appreciated the key lime pie her SIL brought with her. The baby *needs* pie.