Monday, December 22, 2008

All's well

I had my 16w appt today. (!!) I was honestly a bit disappointed when I did NOT get an ultrasound, nor any pictures (evidence) to bring home to post here. I did get to listen to the heartbeat, which was just perfect at 152bpm (beats per minute). There was a little 'pong' sound I could hear along with the heartbeat and the nurse said that was him kicking me. It seriously sounded like an atari pong sound or something. I'm not feeling anything yet that I know of. The nurse said I should feel kicks in the next 2-3 weeks. Amazing. I also have TWO other pieces of good news to share!
1. I have officially gained ONE POUND.
2. And I got a prescription for Zofran, the miracle nausea drug usually given to chemo patients. That makes me feel a bit better about travelling over the holidays, for sure.

In the past 3-4 days, I somehow have a bit of a belly. I'm sure my mom will take pictures when we're at her house, so I'll post some then.
An advance thank you to Cindy and Cynthia for the warm weather preggo clothes-- it's supposed to be 80(!!!) in FL, which means I definitely can't wear jeans and long sleeves. Time to break out the short sleeves and maternity shorts. There's just no way my shorts would fit now. I guess my body is being very efficient about stretching that ONE pound as far as it can.

The next appt is the big anatomy scan on January 21st. It's all so amazing. And I still can't believe I'm here.

Monday, December 15, 2008

fun fluff

1. Link to the person who tagged you.
2. Share 7 random and/or weird facts about you.
3. Tag 7 random people at the end, and include links to their blogs.

1. I was attacked by fish while snorkling when I was a kid... thus I am terrified of fish swimming anywhere remotely near me.
2. I can wiggle my ears.
3. I have the same first and middle name as one of my cousins, and same first and last name as my sister-in-law.
4. Remember the fish issues? I don't eat 'em either. My motto is "nothing from the sea"... NOTHING.
5. I've never been hospitalized nor broken any bones.
6. I didn't drink water until 15w ago. water=bad.
7. My eyes are different colors! One is hazel/green the other is reddish/brown.

Now I tag.... hmmm...
Bri at unwellness
Cindy at Cindy's place
Ashley at Planet Davila
Gretchen at Weathering the Storm
Lisa at The Wayward Stork
Polly at InMe2See
Shannon at Couple to Family


I can't believe how time is flying this month. September, October and November were a blur of awfulness. December has been surprisingly uneventful (so far!).

Saturday night was my Resolve group's annual Christmas dinner. It was great to see everyone and catch up, but kind of weird nonetheless. I know that each and every one of them would give just about anything to be in my shoes. Dealing with IF just plan sucks, especially around holidays because a LOT of holiday things are kid-centric.

I don't know if I'm 'there' yet, thinking this time next year we'll have a little one to celebrate with-- that I could buy all that light blue 'baby's first Christmas' stuff. It's still a hard thing to wrap my head around. I have no reason thus far to think that's not going to happen... but I am probably not going to calm down until at least 24 weeks (where the rate of survival in the NICU is 50%) gestation, or the kid is actually in my arms.

On the positive thinking front, I think I've decided on nursery bedding. And next week when we're in Florida we're going to a store that carries the stroller I want. D insists on seeing it in person and seeing fabric swatches to pick which color we get. It's kind of a haul (2 hour drive each way), but there's nowhere in Ohio that sells 'em. It's kind of interesting how limited selections are here. If it's not at *that store* (BRU), then you're pretty much out of luck.

My next appt is next Monday. *sigh*

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

a nice run

Well, ask and you shall receive! It had been 9 days since I last threw up. Best run ever. The sickness has come back, but I think it might be food related. I felt like crap on Saturday eve and again all day yesterday. Both times I had my favorite chinese for dinner (Sat) and lunch (Tues). Unfortunately I felt like death most of the day yesterday but didn't throw up until midnight. Welcome back death-sickness... So, chinese food is off the list until further notice. Back to the bland basics... the safe foods.

The other big thing to report is that the room that will be the baby's room is now mostly empty. I donated all of the furniture in there and they came and picked it all up today! Yay! At the rate we get projects done around our house, we might just make the June deadline. :-)

Sunday, December 7, 2008


Thank the gods, or whomever you think might be 'up there', but I think the awful all-day-death sickness (really never happened in the morning) has passed. My energy has been almost back to normal and I can eat now. Not EAT, but just eat. Small steps.

I am a little confused in the wardrobe department... I was either really bloated earlier and now I'm not, or I've still been losing weight. All of my regular pants fit for the most part. It's pretty strange. I have less tummy now than I did a month ago. I swear. Now, it mysteriously appears in the evening when I turn into bloated-7 month-preggo-woman, but other than that, I swear I might have one of those skinny people flat tummies. Now how weird is that??????

I had a really sadistic thought yesterday that I'd 'feel better' if I had the m/s back. I feel fine, I'm wearing normal clothes, but I'm pregnant? Like really pregnant? What? My thought was confirmed tonight by our 9y/o niece who gave my tummy a really weird look when my SIL told the girls we were having a baby. Her look said "you can't possibly be having a baby, you're not fat, where's the belly?" It was pretty funny until she followed it up by saying "I've been wondering when you would have a baby!"
Gee, thanks... me too! Me too....

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

a milestone

Happy 2nd trimester to me! The chance of miscarriage at this point is under 1%. I still have a hard time believing all of this could result in a live baby. I never in a gazillion years thought I would be here. But I am. Hello.

There's nothing on my Christmas list this year because I've already received the best possible gift ever... an apparent viable pregnancy.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

So much to be thankful for

But I'll sum it up with a photo. This is hopefully the last of its kind...


Friday, November 21, 2008

I think we're having a baby...

Here's today's u/s picture. I have more (to show family) but the lighting this afternoon is difficult and I can't get a clear shot of them easily. Everything is fine, the Dr. even saw 'boy parts' (even though we already knew that). The most hysterical part was that she said his arms seemed rather long. D has what I call "monkey arms". Great for reaching things behind the sofa w/o having to move, great for swimming, bad for buying shirts and sweaters. :-) As long as the kid doesn't get daddy's feet or mommy's teeth, it's all good.


My weight is strangely back up to where it was at my 1st appt. I guess our scale was off at home. I think the m/s might be on it's way out. I seem to have a bad day every 3-4 days, then a recovery day, then a day or 2 of OK days. Evenings are still touch and go, much to D's dismay, since that's the only time I really get to see him.

Next appt is Dec. 22, right before Christmas! And if you can believe *that*, the appt after that will be the 'big' anatomy scan when normal people usually find out if they're having a boy or girl. I'm kind of liking all of this happening around the holidays because holiday crap is a nice distraction. I might even be wild and crazy and put up a Christmas tree this year. OK, if one goes up, it'll be a smaller 7' one, not the gigundo 12' we usually have. Fake, of course (I'm deathly allergic to pine).

Yesterday I was out shopping with a friend and she was picking up her kids' Xmas pictures. Another lady was there w/ a 6mo baby boy getting his pics taken. C was all excited and exclaimed, "Look!!! You'll have one of *those* next year!!!"
I think I might be beginning to believe it. Maybe....

Monday, November 17, 2008

expectations and unexpectations

Up to 5lbs lost so far. This is a pretty sucky 'diet'. I'm assuming everything is OK with the baby, I have no reason to think otherwise. I have an u/s appt on Friday morning. This would be #4 in case anyone is keeping track, and this is from my 'regular' OB, too! She has been really nice so far. We need to talk about testing on Friday. I don't know if we should do an ultra-scan, NT scan, CVS or anything like that. While we do know the embryos were genetically perfect going into this, something could have happened in the whole cellular division process... just not sure on how to proceed with that.

In other surprising news, I recently went to Babies R Us (had to buy a shower gift) and Destination Maternity (looking for a bella band) stores and did NOT immediately burst into flames. It seems awfully strange to think that people might think I'm one of those 'fertile' people. While yes, I am pregnant (still amazing to write), the road to get here was LONG and HARD and is not something I am going to forget anytime soon. It's as much a part of this baby's Story as anything else. Here's the lab you were created in, here's the lovely doctor that got mommy pregnant w/ you. Here you are when you were just thawed, and look, just hatching, too! Awww... that sort of thing.

As for the upcoming Holidays... I think back to last year and the limbo between our 2 spectactularly failed IVFs and our search for answers which lead us out to Denver and CCRM. It SUCKED.

Here's to hoping this is the last year the dogs are featured on our Christmas cards...

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

on Creation

So, at church on Sunday (we actually made it!) the pastor guy was talking about how when children were conceived it was a miracle of God, etc. Something about his conversation made it sound like conception was 'mysterious'. I instantly thought to myself, well, we *know* when ours were created, and could probably narrow it down to a couple of people in a lab in Colorado! That made me smirk, but you can't exactly back-talk at church about those sorts of things. As much as ART is a part of our daily lives, a lot of people have *issues* with the whole god factor.
As an aside, I dream of sending CCRM cute pictures of our baby wearing a onesie that says something really smart like "my mommy and daddy made me at CCRM" with "I heart Dr Surrey" on the butt or something equally obnoxious.
Today marks the start of the 'double digits'. Almost as eventful as going from 9y/o to TEN but slightly less climactic. I marked the day by letting one of my friends start a registry for me. You see, if she does it then I'm not jinxing anything. I might be a *little* more optimistic, but I'm not stupid!
*** ETA: David says I missed the point completely about the sermon, and that CCRM should include a free onesie with all the $$ we paid them to cycle. Heh.

Sunday, November 9, 2008


Ok, so this is a cheater post... just a fun little list that's going around the blogworld. I'm not going to tag anyone, but feel free to join in. Only rule is the answers have to be mostly) one word.

1. Where is your cell phone? upstairs
2. Where is your significant other? here
3. Your hair color? red
4. Your mother? calling
5. Your father? caring
6. Your favorite thing? pets
7. Your dream last night? trying not to puke
8. Your dream/goal? baby
9. The room you’re in? man room
10. Your hobby? 'putering
11. Your fear? no baby
12. Where do you want to be in six years? no idea
13. Where were you last night? here
14. What you’re not? skinny
15. One of your wish list items? baby
16. Where you grew up? Columbus
17. The last thing you did? eat
18. What are you wearing? loungewear
19. Your T.V.? small
20. Your pet? sleeping
21. Your computer? mac
22. Your mood? nauseous
23. Missing someone? grandma
24. Your car? odyssey
25. Something you’re not wearing? shoes!
26. Favorite store? restoration hardware
27. Your Summer? Denver
28. Love someone? definitely
29. Your favorite color? lots
30. When is the last time you laughed? today
31. Last time you cried? last week

Friday, November 7, 2008

Under the radar

Ok, so I haven't posted the picture from Monday. It's been one of *those* weeks. I got the phenergan on Monday evening and took one Monday night. I felt like a MILLION BUCKS on Tuesday, so *of course* went to the mall with one of my friends. But it has been down hill since then. I'm not only exhausted, but I just might puke any minute. Ugh. I don't think I've puked since Sunday, but don't quote me on that. I am now not so thrilled by these new meds. So far the highlights of my week involve food. I had a slice of pizza on Tuesday, a peanut butter and honey sandwich yesterday, and half a hamburger for lunch today. Other than that I've been subsisting on teddy grahams, applesauce, chex mix and any liquid that doesn't seem too nasty at the moment.

This really does feel like food poisoning. I hear there's another diagnosis brewing, but you know, that could be a rumor! ;-)

Monday, November 3, 2008

The blob moved!

This morning's appointment went well. We saw the blob/baby right away, and I was completely blown away when the blob MOVED. Think gummy bear w/ little moving arms and legs. AMAZING.
Ok, so I can kind of believe I might be pregnant now. Still not so sure on this all resulting in an actual live baby, but hey, one day at a time.
I did get some meds for the all-day-sickness. Phenergan. It's rumored to cause tiredness, which you all know I don't need any help in the sleep department. I'm a bit nervous to take it, as I really don't need to be sleeping 18 hours a day. The dogs need to go out, you know! So, we'll see if that works at all. *shrug*. Oh, and I lost 2 lbs. Greaaat.
I *do* have pics from this morning, but haven't taken photos of them yet. I'll post them here when I do. I promise!

Friday, October 31, 2008

Small mix-up

Ok, we had a little snafu today and my u/s appointment is now going to be on Monday morning (not this afternoon). So no news there. The only good news I have is from the bloodwork today. I get to go down to 1 patch and one prometrium pill! Yay!
(it's the small things, right?) I'm also asking the Dr. for some drugs (zofran, please!) on Monday. I'm getting my butt kicked here by a little blob. A full meal should not consist of a handful of nacho chips and a sierra mist. That's the most I've eaten all day. Ugh.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

New fun

Well, the phone rang this morning and it was my local Dr.'s office. I guess they *just now* got the results from Thursday's bloodwork/pee tests. (little bit slower than CCRM's pace!) Turns out I have a Urinary tract infection *and* am now anemic. Greaaaaat. So, I have two more meds to take: an antibiotic and some iron pill that had to be special ordered in at the pharmacy.

Oh, it just gets more fun, doesn't it?

Btw, somehow D always gets a sinus infection / lung / cold illness in the fall and winter. I pretty much never get whatever he does. It's pretty reliable. He's on the mend with his own antibiotics, tho he always has a lingering cough that is, well, annoying. If only they sold cough syrup by the gallon!

Sunday, October 26, 2008

A long weekend

Not a whole lot to report this weekend. I think I'm still p/g. I've been beyond nauseous and D has a nasty sinus infection / head cold. We've been LOADS of fun!
Next u/s is on Friday, along with more blood work to check my estrogen and progesterone levels.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Why CCRM rocks...

I just found this press release from July. What they're talking about in the release is *EXACTLY* what we did with our June and September cycles. I had no idea it was *that* new of a procedure, but the 1st birth of a baby from this 'technique' was in June 2008.
Here is the link.

Friday, October 24, 2008

CCRM Chicas

Are you thinking of cycling at CCRM (Colorado Center for Reproductive Medicine) or are in the process of doing the 1day testing, getting ready to cycle or do an FET?

I'd love to support you in your journey, commiserate, answer questions, whatever. Let me know if you'd like to be added to my blogroll (ccrm or general) *or* if you know of other brave women preparing to go to CCRM.


(No real 'me' news for today. At this point, no news is good news...)

Thursday, October 23, 2008

A Big Scare

As to not freak everyone completely out, everything is OK.

I woke up yesterday to underwear and sheets completely soaked with blood. (really not underestimating here... REALLY)
I called my local Dr. in shock, and they squeezed me in for a u/s that afternoon. So, um, fine... nothing to do about it, really. Whatever happened, happened. I gave it a 50/50 chance of miscarriage. (never been the optimistic one here) I showered, got dressed, and waited. And *waited*. And WAITED. Finally it was time to leave. D rushed over to the office and met me there.

The u/s tech was really good. We even got the super-high-tech machine. Cool. I was impressed w/ the tech because you have to be really skilled to be able to come off as 'nice' when dealing with a crying / hormonal / preggo / infertile who's in there b/c of a bleed.

She found the embryo/fetus/baby (what exactly is it now? not sure!) right away. She also got the heart beat seconds later. By that point I had tears streaming down my neck. She turned on the sound and there it was... woosh-wooshing away. Little bugger!!!!! Everything looked fine.

I found out today that the Dr. suspects a subchorionic bleed, and said it was small (about 4mm). Needless to say, she said they'd monitor it closely and to 'take it easy' in the meantime.

So, I guess I'm pregnant, but there is not a whole lot of carefree joy and enthusiasm yet. There's way too much to be concerned about and this incident is just a reminder of how tenuous this pregnancy really is. There's just SO much on the line.

The below pictures are from yesterday's scan.
(head is on the bottom)

Today you would think nothing had ever happened... I feel fine, no spotting, no bleeding, nothing. Ok, well, I feel like death warmed over and am exhausted, but *other* than that... !

Monday, October 20, 2008

I understand

In the blogworld, people generally blog about a particular subject. This blog has been about infertility since I started down the slippery IVF road. But now... well... I'm in a bit of a transition period. Clearly no blog that touts 6w u/s pictures and BFPs can be an infertility blog anymore. If you're fighting the fight and would rather move away from 'yet another pg blog', I understand. It's ok! I've done the same thing, culling all of my blogroll when I realized everyone on there was pg except *me*.
So now I'm in those shoes. Weird.
If you decide to stay with my journey, I hope I can somehow help spread the word and awareness on IF. I've thought about getting involved publicly w/ Resolve. No one should have to go through all of this on their own. It's far too grueling. Far too tiring, and far too costly. You are not alone.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Reality check

When does this become real? Because it's definitely *not* real feeling right now. Our friends are talking about baby showers, kids' toys, The Registry, and I am still not 100% convinced there is going to be a baby* at the end of this. It seems strange that there's a Resolve meeting this Wednesday eve., and I'm NOT going. You see, I've been a big fan of our Resolve group for the past two years. Now all of a sudden, voila, I'm 'ResolveD".

What's up with that? How did that happen? No monthly b!tch fests about stupid doctors, frustrating fertiles and that ever deepening pit of despair/desire for the simple joy of having a baby/child to call your own. Well, hmmm.... Maybe I should just go hang out in the parking lot at BabiesRUs. Geez, just the thought of that place scares me to no end. Bottles, gear, pacis... all so very overwhelming and foreign.

So, I'm conflicted. Even D said we should have just gone to Colorado in the first place. Can you imagine that? Firstly, there's no way anyone would go for a 20k cycle half way across the country just 'because'. He would have laughed at the very thought, saying I was overreacting. LOL. Drastic measures are only taken in drastic times, and it took us that long to get there. So fine, we went to Colorado after much ado. And it worked. (SHOCKING) Now what???

Can I just hold my breath for the next 34 weeks or so? Where's the fast forward button? Easy button anyone?

*baby, in this scenario refers to a biological child. The back-up plan to adopt is still in place. Also the sibling plan is still to adopt from Russia. So technically, there IS a child at the end of this regardless, we're currently cooking the bio baby plan.

Friday, October 17, 2008


Mommy and Daddy would like to introduce, for the Very First Time...


The circle on the right is the yolk sac, where the cross hatches are is the baby. If you click on the picture, it'll pop up much bigger to show some more detail if you are so inclined.

Yes, Houston, we have a blob! We only saw one bean in there today. Amazing. Tho I guess another could pop up perhaps? The Dr. really looked around, so I think we do actually have ONE BEAN. We saw the heartbeat fluttering away, but she didn't measure it. (fine by me)

We are absolutely thrilled that it worked. Thank you God. Thank you CCRM. Thank you Dr Surrey!

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Quickie post

B/w this morning was OK... progesterone was ok at 7.8 ( Ithink) meds stay the same. Estradiol is up to 900 something, and I get to cut back to 3 patches! I was just telling D last night how thankful I am that I don't have to do PIO shots. Man those suck.

More b/w again on thursday, then the BIG ultrasound on Friday AM. I'll post ASAP. Hopefully with pictures!

Ok, time to find something to eat before I puke. (I feel like I have the flu, food poisoning, or something else equally unsavory)

Saturday, October 11, 2008

one small step

I had a small victory this morning. I was able to eat a bowl of granola and yogurt w/ fresh fruit. Stupid, I know, but as I said, small steps.

Once we have the u/s next week I'll post a couple of posts I've been working on. Resolve used to have a section in their newsletter called "Resolved". It was meant for the preggos, but there was enough dissent that they dropped it. Really, no infertile wants to open their support group newsletter and get smacked in the face with a fat belly shot or something.

Though I do think they were onto something. I feel like I'm in this in-between nether land... I guess I'm not infertile anymore, but I am not so sure about this whole pregnancy thing.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Well, that was unexpected.

This week I've been busy doing set-up supervision for a big fundraising event that takes place this weekend. While yes, it's a nice distraction, I've been having some serious conflicts w/ my time. Like I need to sleep for 12 hours due to sheer exhaustion, which is just not possible this week! I might take the morning/day off if I wake up feeling like crap again.

It never dawned on me that there could be some conflicts between the FET cycle 2 weeks ago and the fundraiser this weekend. I might as well have a bad case of food poisoning or a bad flu, because that's about how I feel. Highly unexpected, indeed.

Ok, on to the good news. I *finally* have an ultrasound scheduled for next Friday, the 17th. There's another blood draw on Tuesday the 14th (btw, Polly, the P4 is OK at 10 because I'm doing the supps., so the P4 goes to the uterus first, then is diluted by the time it gets to the bloodstream)

I think that's it for now. Time to go to sleep. Zzzzzzzzz.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Holy Guacamole

We have officially entered uncharted territory here. Blood work came back just fine. Progesterone is good at 10 and Estradiol good at 948. They want another check next week before talking about weaning me off the meds. In the mean time everything stays as is.

What? You want a HCG number too? Oh, that was 3800 !!!!!!!!!!! After doing a little research, that's very high for a singleton, and on par for a twin or triplet pregnancy. Now things are getting interesting!

I have a lab slip for a u/s next week, the local Dr here just has to squeeze me in to the schedule. Hopefully sooner rather than later. I can't wait to see what's going on in there.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Coming soon

More blood work tomorrow morning, I'll post the results late afternoon. I also just made my first OB appointment!!!!! With the *infamous* Dr Parker, no less. It's not until 10/20, but fear not fellow internets, there WILL be an ultrasound next week. I just don't have the details on that yet. I'll get that info tomorrow w/ the bloodwork results.

Sunday, October 5, 2008

The time in between...

Not a whole lot to update here.
My fat pants still don't fit, and I have to wait until Tuesday for the last blood work check. That's to check progesterone, estrogen and the infamous HCG. When I get that call, they say when I can schedule an ultrasound.
This is also the calm before the storm. I volunteer for my high school and the BIG fundraiser for the year is next weekend. I'm chair of 'facilities', that means set-up, teardown and some logistics. So of course I can't lift a finger, right? Pretty much I have to be there and 'supervise' for like 8 hours a day for the 6 days. Fun.

Friday, October 3, 2008

Just another day

Well, no tests today. Nothing major to report. We're both over the moon about this latest turn of events. I'm strangely optimistic. We transferred PERFECT embryos. My betas are good, even great. I have symptoms. My other 2 pregnancies were nothing like this. This is totally different in almost every way.

I think it might be OK to be happy... but we really should wait until the ultrasound. That should probably be sometime the week of the 14th.

Optimism... who knew?

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Beta is in!

Beta #2 is 274 !!! (Beta #1 was 91)

That'd be a doubling time of 30.18 hours. Any doubling time under 48 hours is GOOD.

I kind of thought it would go up, but I didn't think it'd triple! According to the beta base that's in range for both a singleton and twin pregnancy. So that's still up in the air.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Beta details

Ok, here's the deal on the betas. "Beta" as used here is short for "Beta HCG quantitative blood test". HCG stands for Human Chorionic Gonadatropin, and is the pregnancy hormone created by an embryo when it implants in your uterus. This hormone is what is being tested for in the peesticks you've seen below. The blood test is more accurate because it can tell you the exact number of HCG (in whatever units they use, I have no idea on that!) you have in your system. For a 14dpo (days past ovulation) beta, they want the number to be above 50. Mine was 91. The number is then supposed to basically double every 48 hours thereafter. Once it gets above 1000 or so, an ultrasound is scheduled for a week later.

So, after I got the blood drawn yesterday, they ran the test then called CCRM with the results. CCRM then called me. My nurse (Jen) called with the good news around 2:15pm, I imagine it was her lunch break. I've *never* gotten a call from them that early in the day. Before I could even say "hello?" Jen says "CONGRATULATIONS!!!! You're pregnant!!!!!" Obviously very excited. It was cute. I kind of laughed (since I saw the peesticks that morning, it wasn't a complete shocker), and asked if that was the best part of her job. She said it was the absolute BEST part and she loved making these calls. Cute. Once we both calmed down a bit, she went over some more details (aren't there always details?) of how things will proceed...

I have to go for a repeat beta (see above) on Thursday AM and again on next Tuesday (10/7/08) for HCG, estrogen and progesterone checks. It's all (hopefully) just one blood draw.

Later yesterday evening Dr. Surrey called to congratulate us and answer any questions we had. Since I'm still in Shock and Awe, I didn't have any questions. D's out of town on business, so that was that. Of course now I can think of questions. Of course!
I thought it was very nice of Dr. S to call. I think they've been a 100% class act throughout everything. I would still recommend them to anyone and everyone regardless of this outcome.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Beta is in!

HCG = 91
(will update more later!)

peestick parade: BETA DAY

Here are this morning's peesticks:

I went in for my beta this morning. It only took the tech 2 tries today. (That's a good thing!) I probably won't hear anything until late afternoon because of the time difference between here (Ohio) and Colorado.

I'll update as soon as I hear ANYTHING ! ! !

Monday, September 29, 2008

The peestick parade, day 2.


Ok, there was some confusion yesterday amongst the non-peestick initiated... the presence of TWO lines on either test makes it a positive test. Regardless of how dark each of the lines are. SO, with todays sticks (stick=home pregnancy test in case you really have no idea what you're looking at) the lines appear a little bit darker. Generally that means the level of HCG in my body is going up. HCG is the pregnancy hormone that an embryo creates when it implants in your (my) uterus.

Now, is everyone crystal clear on this? Mom? Sarah? Margaret?

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Day 3: well, that didn't last long!

This photo speaks for itself...


(OK, edited to add that there are TWO LINES on each of those tests, which means that those are POSITIVE pregnancy tests... *ahem* mom.)

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Day 2: not testing.

So far so good. I have not POAS. I have not even gone to a store and contemplated buying any! *so proud*. The only other 'news' here is that we have officially become a part of the 21st century and now have HDTV. It's niiiiiiice!

I did a little research last night and discovered that on my past two IVF cycles I had been spotting already by 10dpo. The difference at this point is that I've never been on estrogen meds, only progesterone. So now I'm on both, and I hazard to say that it might be making a difference.

*sigh* Tuesday is still forever away...

Friday, September 26, 2008

Day 1: not testing.

So I accidentally found a peestick in a drawer. Expiration date 9/2008. Hmmmm! But wait, it gets better because you know what? I didn't pee on it! I put it back in the drawer and proceeded with my day. I guess I'm taking it one day at a time, and today I have NOT POAS. (POAS= peed on a stick) Beta is on Tuesday and D told me last night he has to be out of town for work on Tuesday, leaving Monday night. Impeccable timing, don't you think? We should be able to do a 3way call for the news on Tuesday. I am NOT hearing it alone.

Thursday, September 25, 2008


Well, I could be having symptoms, it could be all in my head, it could be the meds. I have no idea what actual pregnancy 'symptoms' are.
I feel a little bloated, it could be the bag of powdered donuts I ate earlier in the week.
The girls are a bit bigger, it could be the progesterone...
The girls are a little sensitive, too. Also a progesterone side effect.
My stomach feels like I'm hungry, but I just ate dinner.

It could be nothing... it could be SOMETHING.

Tomorrow is 10dpo and I could plausibly test and get 'results'. Or I could get nothing. I DO NOT want to see nothing, so I'm terrified of testing. But yet I want to know... but I don't want to know. Ugh. Tuesday is a very long time from now.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Home to wait

We arrived home uneventfully. The dogs were Very Excited to see us and I suspect we'll have all of the cats in bed with us tonight. A HUGE thank you goes out to my inlaws for coming in town to stay with the pets while we were gone. It's a big relief knowing we don't have anything to worry about at home.

I think I'm a bit bloated, but that also might have something to do with the bag of powdered donuts I ate while we were out there.
Bloat...fat... whatever... it's all the same until the Big Beta Day on Tuesday the 30th. (not that I'm counting!)

I also have no idea when any symptoms would start if either or both of these embryos decide to stick around. Keep in mind that anything beyond a beta (HCG blood test) of 553 is uncharted territory for me.

Headed Home

Not a whole lot to report this morning here. Well... ok, so I DID take a SHOWER which was wonderful. Nice hot water, and great water pressure! The other 'event' this morning since bed rest restrictions have been lifted is to go to the Nordie's Rack store. Ok, so I like to shop... and we don't have one anywhere close back home. It's not like I'm making a big deal about going to Target or something. :-) D thinks I'm ridiculous for wanting to shop with the 2 free hours we have. LOL. What else is there to do when I'm not supposed to exercise, break a sweat, lift more than 10 lbs and all that fun?

On the technical front, my Estrodiol level wasn't what Dr Surrey wanted it, so D had to go pick up another prescription last night. Progesterone was fine. Current med count is 3: 4 vivelle estrogen patches every other day, the prometrium hoohah pellets and the new estrace pills. Most importantly, NO SHOTS!

Ok, time to get packing, I have things to do!

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Bed rest fun

Well, not really... I'm bored. Despite all of the things I brought to 'do', nothing is actually either a )fun or b) distracting when I have to be horizontal in bed all day. After some good obsessing with my friend Cynthia, I think I'm kind of zen about all of this at this point. It is what it is, and I'm not going to know jack until at least Friday (the earliest I've calculated that I can POAS).

A while ago I had talked about wanting to only transfer one of the embryos. After some discussion, and finding out their 'grades', we agreed to transfer both. D thinks it gives us the best chance of pregnancy. I think it gives us the best chances of closure. This whole CCRM experience has been in the search for answers and closure. I had gotten my closure in January when we got most of our test results. D really wanted to cycle again (easy to say when you're not the one doing the shots and hormones!) to give it one last shot. So, to make the best of that last shot, we did the CGH genetic testing on the embryos (only 3 made it to blast). Of those three, only two were normal. We had talked about only transferring one because Dr Surrey had quoted a crazy high success rate of CGH normal blasts. Then we'd have one for a sibling. But yet there's no guarantee that anything worked. That'd mean I would have to do another FET cycle, with another trip out to Colorado. I was ready to be DONE.

Adoption has always been on the table as an option, but D wanted to exhaust our biological options first. Doing two FETs just draws out the process, and at the end of the day I just want to be a MOM. Whether or not this FET works, we're at least headed in direction that will result in us being more than 'just a couple'.

I'm still nervous. Waiting sucks... esp horizontal in bed...

Wind last week

Some of you might have heard about the wind storm that hit Ohio last weekend. It was a huge deal here. 500,000 people without power, and the power company had sent their crews down to Texas to help with Ike down there! So when Ike came up to Ohio, there was no one here to fix all of the downed lines. Nice. We were very thankful that we didn't lose power, but we *did* lose half a tree. If the tree had hit 6 inches closer to the house it would have taken the house with it.

Let's obsess!

Ok, someone on one of my boards thought it looked like the guy on the right has split in two. So, here is the picture again (click on it for a bit higher resolution.) What do you all think?

Just to be crystal clear, that'd mean TRIPLET BOYS. Oh, the irony...

Monday, September 22, 2008

FET... the deets!

In case you don't want to read the whole post, here's a short summary. Transfer went well, both embryos survived thaw and were growing. We transferred both embryos, who both happen to be BOYS. I'm fine and back at the hotel on bed rest.

Now for the details, all the nitty gritty details...

We got there at 9:30am-- transfer scheduled for 11:30. But first I had to do a blood draw to check today's P4 (progesterone) and E2 (estrodiol) levels. My meds might be tweaked depending on these results. The 1st nurse couldn't get a vein at all. So she called someone else in. She got one on the first try, but then it stopped so she had to switch to the other arm and do it again to get enough blood to run both of the tests. That was Fun.

Then I was told to head up to the 2nd floor surgery area to wait for the acu. About 5 min later someone came out to take me back to my room. Everything happens in the same room for transfers. They just wheel in and out the different equipment.
First the acu lady came in, I signed paperwork and had to write a check for the acu (as with their lab, the acu people are a separate business entity). I have no idea how long the acu lasted, really. It was dark, I was probably asleep and I couldn't see a clock because I didn't have my glasses on. Maybe an hour? No idea.

I was relatively relaxed at this point (well, it's all relative, isn't it?), and I HAD TO PEE. Round two nurses come in, wheel in a u/s cart, and another cart w/ equipment on it. Amazingly, she didn't get out the dildocam. I got a regular abdomen u/s! Who knew that existed?! She had to check how full my bladder was. When I asked why (since this was never an issue or anything with my last TWO transfers) she said it helped to flatten the uterus and allowed them to more accurately place the embryos. Ok, that makes sense. She also let me 'empty my bladder' a little bit. OH, what a lovely pee... So, back to the table, I mean bed. One of the nurses came in to give me a Valium. I asked what it was for, since I was relaxed already. She said it was to relax your muscles, esp the uterine muscles. We had to wait a little bit for Dr Surrey to come in, he did some 'cleaning' down there and set up whatever he had to set up. Then the embryologist came in (Terry), and we had to confirm who we were, etc. He rolled the embryos in on a cart that was topped with a 20" monitor where we could see them. I asked if we could have a picture of them and he said they didn't do pictures. I was not to be deterred. I wanted pictures. This is the last hurrah and dammit, I want pictures. So I asked if D could take a pic of the monitor. I think they thought that was the weirdest request ever. But hey, I got my photo.
our boys!

Transfer itself took maybe 10 minutes if that. Then I had to lay there for another 10 minutes. Then the acupuncture lady came back in (she was *very* chipper) for round 2 of the acu treatment. Now I should mention that I *still* had to pee but had to lay there for more acu for maybe 15 min or so. I'm sorry, but it's just not so relaxing to have to lay completely still on a table with needles all over you when you have to pee. Kind of makes it difficult to do the peepee dance! Once the acu was done, I was up and beelined it to the bathroom faster than you could blink an eye!

Random aside, they have lovely tile in their bathrooms there. Each bathroom is different, all tasteful and lovely. Anywho, I got dressed, was handed various copies of paperwork, and a nurse wheeled me out (they insist on pushing patients out in wheelchairs) to the parking lot. D had pulled the car around and was waiting. They said to put the seat all the way back in the car and lay down immediately when I got back to the hotel. I thought that was strange. I mean really, like they're going to fall out or something? I don't think so. But hey. Their success rates are what they are for a reason so who was I to challenge that?

We stopped at Heidi's for takeout for lunch. I think just to spite me, D got lox. He said it was good. It looked like puked up watermelon or something equally unpleasant. lol. Since then I've been in bed back at the hotel. I have a whole new appreciation for people who have to be on bed rest for an extended period of time. UGH. I killed a bunch of time this afternoon by accidentally falling asleep for a lovely nap. I think it might have been the Valium. I also slept like crap last night, so I really was quite tired. Let's hope I can sleep tonight!

Meet our boys

Ok, so I'm working on the detail post, but thought in the meantime you all would enjoy this photo.

our boys!
The one on the left is already hatching!

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Denver, trip 3

We're in Denver! I've only spoken to nurses at CCRM 3 times today (Sunday) to confirm details, when to be where, the schedule, etc.

We have to be there at 9:30am, transfer at 11:30am.

We are transferring BOTH EMBRYOS. So yes, all of our eggs are going to be in one proverbial basket. I'm going for closure, a conclusion, an ending. This is our final infertility treatment in pursuit of starting our own biological family. (wow, that seems so...!)

I'll be blogging a lot more tomorrow, detailing the day, and recapping the journey. For now I think I'm going to go to bed.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Packing list,

DVDs- check
fun magazines- check
a good book - check
comfy FET outfit - check
2 days of pajamas for bed rest- check
FIXED COMPUTER - triple check
wonderful in laws to take care of pets while we're gone- check
cash from the ATM- check
patches, lots and lots of wonderful patches- check
cellphone- check
camera- check
vitamins and supplements -check

We leave tomorrow evening, via a lovely direct flight. Hopefully the car rental people are not slower than molasses! I found out today that we need to be there at 9:30am for a blood draw, then acupuncture, then the FET. After the FET I get more acupuncture, then back to the hotel for bed rest until we leave on Wednesday!

Some people have asked if we know the genders. Well, kind of. CCRM knows, but won't tell us until after the transfer. They do not want gender to be part of the decision of which embryo to transfer. SO, once the FET is done on Monday we will know the gender of the two embryos. If only one embryo sticks, and our embryos are a boy and a girl, we will still not know which one took and will have to wait until further testing around week 12. (assuming a pregnancy results from this, and I'm just NOT going there right now) Obviously if they are both one gender we'll know if it's either a single or twin pregnancy. Speaking of twins... there are lots of clauses and paperwork and signatures required that we acknowledge the risk of multiples with this procedure. I would be amiss to not mention the higher chance of identical twinning associated with assisted hatching. So I guess it is *technically* plausible to have quads if each of the embryos split into two. But, yeah, whatever. I find that almost as plausible as a live birth, too...

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Suggestions needed.

Ok internets, I need your help! What in the world to do with myself during the hotel bedrest?!? That's two days of feeling just FINE, but having to stay in bed anyways. In a hotel. I've got a couple of takeout meals planned, Via Baci, Heidi's and IHop-- none of which we have at home. Other than twiddling my thumbs, what to do? What to do... I have no idea.

FET? What FET?

Well, denial-ville population one has been closed. Today I start the big meds... Let's see, there's the antibiotic, the steroid, and progesterone suppositories. Good times, good times. Thankfully (SO thankful!) no Progesterone-in-oil shots (yet)! I had an u/s and bloodwork done this morning. Everything is where it should be. Estrodiol was 553, that's good. Progesterone was .3, also good. No LH results yet. Now that I've started the meds, I get another blood draw on Friday to make sure everything is being appropriately absorbed.
What surprised me the most today was the attitude I got from the local RE doing the local monitoring. SO strange, and just unnecessary. She asked what we were doing out there, I said a frozen transfer, we cycled in June, etc. and did CGH testing. She then asked "What's CGH?" !!! What? Huh? You're a doctor, this is your job, and you don't know what CGH is? Huh? I was so taken aback I couldn't come up with the definition. It stands for Comparative Genomic Hybridization, in case you're wondering...
At any rate, current med count is 4. Estrogen patches, 2 pills, and the suppositories. Good times, good times. We leave on Sunday, return on Wednesday.
From what I can gather, the earliest I can POAS is Friday 9/26. Woah.

In non IF related updates, it's been rather stressful here. One of our dogs has terminal liver cancer, and has weeks not months to live. We also had a windstorm blow through on Sunday and have half a tree leaning against the house. No idea when the tree guys will be out to take care of the carnage.

Thursday, September 11, 2008


Somehow I'm in denial about this cycle. Completely blase about it. Unphased. Oh, la de dah, we're going to Colorado in less than two weeks. I actually asked D what he wanted to do while we were out there. He said "ummm... we can't do *anything* because you'll be on *BEDREST*." Hell-o? Oh, yeah, tht's right. I guess that *is* this month, isn't it?
Nevermind that my tummy is covered in estrogen patches and the bruise on my left arm from the blood-draw lady having to fish around for my crappy vein...

I guess I'll have some news to share this time next month, huh? I could be p/g. How about them apples?!?

Thursday, September 4, 2008

ramping up

This month is turning out to be surprisingly busy. (that's a good thing!)
The hardwood flooring arrived today and is being installed this weekend. I'm up to 2 patches every other day of the estrogen patches (vivelle), then it goes to 3 patches, then to 4. Those should be some mighty fine hormones!
Now, I know I promised project pictures (they're coming), but we're having some technical difficulties here. My macbook is currently at the apple hospital after one of the cats spilled crystal lite on it. We finally got the hard drive backed up this weekend. Thank GOD it wasn't fried. Anywho, I can't download the pics to the PC, so they have to wait until the mac is back. (next week)
I still need to set up accupucnture appointments, and perhaps throw in a mani/pedi, too. That reminds me, I need to call CCRM and get the accu set up for out there, too.
And just as a reminder to you all, regardless of the outcome of this cycle, it is closure for us. That is a GOOD thing. (I still don't have any expectations of a baby from this, but whatever... I'm just going with it.)

Friday, August 29, 2008

Let's go!

One step closer. Today is CD1.
To do list:
- call CCRM
- make it through phone tree to nurse voicemail
- leave message for nurse
- talk to nurse at CCRM
- negotiate transfer date
- talk to D
- book air tickets
- book hotel
- book rental car
- pickup drugs (vivelle patches)
- chill.

In an 'in the meantime' update, I'm going to post before and after pictures of our project room. This weekend we get to clear the room and tear up the carpet. Can you say F-U-N ! ! !

Friday, August 22, 2008

In the meantime...

See that little ticker over there? That's how much time I have to kill before being able to move on with my life. I'm going batcrazy in the meantime!

We're (I'm) doing some projects around the house. I have grand visions of picking up a new hobby or skill or three. Let's make curtains! Sure! Try Yoga? Great idea! Pick all the weeds out of the lawn by hand! Oh Yeah, sign me up! Ok, some are more realistic than others, but there's nothing wrong with dreaming big.

An FET update... this week we're thinking of transferring both embryos. Transferring 2 increases the success rates. Also provides definite closure. Talk amongst yourselves (ala coffee talk SNL style).

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Resolve Rocks

I always enjoy our Resolve group meetings- so welcome to my fellow resolve peeps!

It's nice to know we're not alone in this journey. Infertility affects 1 in 8 people trying to conceive. There are alot more helpful resources over on the Resolve website.

Here are some of my favorite little tidbits: (from their website)

Myth: It's all in your head! Why don't you relax or take a vacation. Then you'll get pregnant!

Fact: Infertility is a disease or condition of the reproductive system. While relaxing may help you with your overall quality of life, the stress and deep emotions you feel are the result of infertility, not the cause of it. Improved medical techniques have made it easier to diagnose infertility problems.

Myth: Don't worry so much -- it just takes time. You'll get pregnant if you're just patient.

Fact: Infertility is a medical problem that may be treated. At least 50% of those who complete an infertility evaluation will respond to treatment with a successful pregnancy. Some infertility problems respond with higher or lower success rates. Those who do not seek help have a "spontaneous cure rate" of about 5% after a year of infertility.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Goin' back to Denver

FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer)plans are underway. Of course my body hasn't gotten the memo yet. We need to wait until CD 1 again to book the flights, hotel, car. The ticker over there is our 'goal' date for the FET, but who knows if my body will cooperate! Last cycle was a crazy long 35 days.

I am getting excited to be done with all of this crap. Regardless of the outcome. (still not conviced a baby will result from any of this)

Monday, August 11, 2008

Scheduling CRAZY TALK

The FET is scheduled for Friday September 26th in Denver. It'll just be a long weekend trip-- going out there on Thursday and returning on Sunday or Monday.
The added bonus for a FET is that there are NO PIO shots involved! Those are the big, thick, nasty butt shots with thick oily liquid you have to 'inject' into some spot on your butt you can't see. They're awful.

Now is when we start the crazy talk...
my due date would be June 15th, 2009. That's D's birthday.

I still don't really believe a baby could be the result of all of this. No way. Not possible. Seriously can't put my mind around it. The thought of me being actually pregnant is just beyond comprehension... I doubt I'd believe it even if it does happen someday. I'm definitely not holding my breath on that happening!

To answer Cindy's question about embryo #2, it's for 'later' use perhaps with a surro, or to complete our family after adopting... or for child #3. We have agreed that either 2 or 3 kids are OK. Having an only is not OK. (it sucked being an only)

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Decisions, decisions made.

We will do a FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer) as soon as possible. Only thawing 1 and transferring 1 embryo.
(when that doesn't work...)
Then we will adopt from Russia.
(that WILL work)

Time to call CCRM and set things up!

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Creating Family

As I write this, I am in a small cottage in a very small town on a small(ish) island. Where D happens to be related to a good 50% of the population going back 200 years. We're here for a family reunion. Where saying "I'm a Smith", means something. Where you can be a complete foreigner, not know a single person until someone sees your name and then you're *instant* family. All of a sudden a large portion of the restaurant we were at today became Family. Family who invites you over for dinner. Family who asks you if you've hear from so and so. Voila. Roots.

A lot of times we take these things for granted as the pace of daily life is awfully fast. I usually consider myself accomplished if we get to eat dinner a) together and b) before 9pm and c) not take-out!

It's very clear here about how many kids everyone has had. The Family is so large because generation after generation produced 6+ children per descendant. It's kind of amazing if you think about it. We got a genealogy book of the lineage, where we are just listed as one line. And then it stops.

Can we list our two frozen embryos as decendants? Maybe? Please? We worked really hard for them! No, really... you might have been able to have 3 or 4 kids easily (or 5 in 5 years as I heard someone say yesterday), but these two little groupings of cells came at a very high cost. And are very much loved. They are already a part of the family, as are the other twenty embryos that never made it along the way.

So now it's down to these two frozen little guys. Then the biological road ends for us.

I don't have an answer as to where we'll turn next.

Child-free is not an option.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008


HOLY COW. The phone just rang and it was CCRM.

2 embryos are normal.
1 abnormal. w/ an extra chromosome on #16 and #19.

Interestingly they don't give the gender info until after you do a transfer. (not that it matters...)

Not sure what to do now.


Monday, July 28, 2008

Nothing yet

Just an update to let everyone know I called CCRM again today to see if I could get any more information. Nothing to report because a) no one knows anything and b) I kept getting transferred. Finally I got a # for someone in the lab (not John), and left her a voicemail. No idea if she'll call me back today, or what.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Now with added waiting!

You might be expecting some news, huh? Well, tough, because you're not going to get any anytime soon.

I sucked it up and called CCRM yesterday for an update, see where we stood with the CGH results.

The nurse who called me back (on voicemail) said it'd probably be another week, the lab has been a bit backed up. The results were coming in more at the 6 week point than any earlier and that we probably had another week to wait.


So now we get to wait some more.

But in the 'it could be worse' vein, I heard news recently about a friend who was in a serious motorbike accident with her DH. Her husband is in a coma and they were going to take him off life support today. They had only been married 2 years, and hadn't even gotten to have problems like we are. It could definitely be worse. Now I'm waiting to see where/when the funeral will be. He was 31.

Monday, July 21, 2008

the wait continues...


No news.

Still waiting...

Thursday, July 17, 2008

What's new?

Oh, still waiting? Um, yeah. STILL WAITING.

I wanted to give a shout out to all of my Resolve peeps. Welcome!

In other news, my mom had a knee replaced yesterday, so I've been on mom duty this week, and next week until we leave for Canada. She's still in the hospital (Riverside) and is doing fine. Well, fiiiiiine if you ask her. She's getting some good pain meds, which makes everyone happier. :-)

Oh, and there's cellphone coverage where we'll be in Canada, just in case we don't get THE CALL before we go.

still waiting...

Monday, July 14, 2008

New day, same wait

Wow, look at that date! For the 4-6 week wait, next Friday 7/25/08 will be the 4 week mark.
Not that I'm counting. No, definitely not.

Until then.....

Sunday, July 6, 2008

still waiting


still waiting...

s t i l l w a i t i n g . . .

At least D is home from his whirlwind work trips, which is very nice. I'm trying to come up with worst-case-scenario plans for when none of our embryos are viable. I don't think D's thought much about it at all. If anyone knows how to speed up time, please, by all means, do so on our behalf!

s t i l l w a i t i n g . . .

Wednesday, July 2, 2008


It's only been ONE WEEK since our embryos were vitrified. One down, 3-5 more weeks to go.

I really don't think it's possible for time to go any slower.

We have no plans for the fourth, but are watching a friend's dog while they're on vacation. Maybe the cat-box room will get some attention, maybe the garden. There's lots to do, and WAY too much time available to do it in.

I think I'll go read my blogs instead. Yes, much better idea...

Thursday, June 26, 2008

hope on hold

The fate of our 3 frozen embryos won't be decided until we have the results back from the genetic testing. 4 to 6 weeks from now... there are several options. Some I'm more comfortable with than others. I honestly don't know if D has let it sink in yet. He's currently in Canada for business and has been crazy busy with work all month. (Yes, there were lots of conference calls and lots of laptop time logged while we were in Colorado.)

Until we know what we're dealing with, hope is on hold. I'd rather not speculate.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Day 6 report: now we wait


We have two more embryos that made it to blasts and were able to be biopsied and frozen. The rest arrested and were not able to be biopsied or frozen.

That leaves us with 3.

My exact feelings are "*ugh*". I'm not completely surprised, I do have crap eggs... you can't deny that w/ 9 embryos fizzling out between days 3 and 6.

Now we must wait 4-6 weeks for the results to come back from the lab.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Day 5 report

Well, this morning started off by my sitting by the phone and waiting... and waiting... and WAITING. I gave up around 2pm and called them. A guy named Terry talked to me and said that ONE embryo was biopsied and vitrified (frozen) today.

The 'others' weren't to the blastocyst stage yet, and they would be checked again tomorrow. I'm suppposed to get a call tomorrow also. Now, he didn't say that any (of the 11) had died... just that they weren't blasts yet. I should have asked for more details, but heck, I didn't.

I'm not sure what to think at this point. I guess it's good that they aren't dead (yet), but iffy that only 1 could be frozen today. And then there's the whole CGH testing, it's completely possible that that 1 embryo could be genetically abnormal.

More tomorrow... hopefully.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Day 3 report

We still have 11 embryos growing!
They were all dividing right on schedule (between 6 and 10 cells at this point) but
2 of them were more fragmented than the others.
So, if we don't count the fragmented ones, there are NINE still in the running.

You know what? If we were doing a fresh transfer and still had nine in the running, they'd push us out to a 5 day transfer anyways because there are so many still growing.


Next lab update will be on Tuesday, on day 5. That's when they do the biopsy, and freeze on day 6.
They'll call both Tuesday and Wednesday with updates.

I still can't believe we've gotten this far. Amazing.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

back to the usual

The flight home was uneventful and we've picked up all of the dogs. Laundry is going as we speak, and D is mowing the yard. Back to your regularly scheduled Saturday activities!

I should hear tomorrow morning about how our 12 embryos are doing. I won't be surprised if there's some attrition, but we'll see. They are in Very Good Hands.

Friday, June 20, 2008

Fert Report!

Be ready to have your socks knocked off...

14 retrieved
12 mature
ALL 12 fertilized w/ ICSI !!!

The embryologist said they were all looking good, and would be checked again on Day 3 (Sunday). On Day 3 if they weren't looking great, the option is a micro-array biopsy. It's not CGH, but yields the same results. I guess it's a newer techinque and a different study. If we're doing crazy talk and they can be cultured to Day 5, the embryos are biopsied at blast stage and then vitrified.

Results of both kinds of testing are running 4-6 weeks. I promise I'll post as soon as I know!

We fly back home this afternoon. Bloated, drug free, and with perhaps a teensy eensy bit of hope.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

ER Report!

Today's magic number is 14. FOURTEEN!!!!!

No puking or (severe) nausea. CCRM rocks.

I am at risk for OHSS because the follicles were 'so big' and because they got so many. Doctors orders are to eat salty foods and drink gatorade as well as take it easy for the next couple of days.

We'll get a call tomorrow morning telling us how many were mature and how many fertilized. They're going to play it by ear with the CGH stuff and growing the embies out to day 5. Good. Regardless it's a freeze all cycle. And btw, their thaw rate is like 95%. Cool.

(btw, I added photos to some of the below posts... go take a look at what we've been up to!)

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Stim day 14... day before ER

This was my last day of stims! Woo Hoo!!! I did the trigger shot last night, which wasn't bad once I got the nerve up enough to stick a 2" needle in my butt.

E2 (estradiol) level today was 3118, which is good. (more follicles, the higher the E2) After the usual am blood draw, D and I went down to Colorado Springs and went to the Garden of the Gods park. It was really spectacular! After that we went to the base of Pike's peak, to Manitou Springs and walked around a bit. I had the best chicken salad *ever* at a cute little cafe called Adam's Mountain Cafe. The roads beyond the main drag were SO steep. I have no idea how in the world they get around in the winter.

Garden of the Gods (this kind of rock formation is called a flatiron)

Garden of the Gods ('siamese twins' formation)

Garden of the Gods- view of Pike's peak through a hole in the siamese twins rocks.

Manitou Springs... so nice!

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Oh, that's rattlesnake on my shirt.

We just got back from dinner at The Buckhorn Exchange.
I'll just let the photos do the talking!

D while waiting for our table.

The 'ambience'... I seriously contemplated going veggie!

Hmm! David's menu consisted of a rattlesnake appetizer, and main course of yak, ostrich and quail. I had the unadventurous (beef) steak and tried to not loose my cookies. :-)

Trigger, not Tigger...

Follies are still cooking, no mention of an E2 level...

The big news is that I get to trigger tonight at 10pm!!!
ER is scheduled for 9am Thursday, we have to be there at 8am.

Tomorrow we're going to go down to Colorado Springs after the bloodwork in the am.
Thursday is out b/c of ER and
Friday we fly home at 2pm mountain time.

I just hope I'm not puking on Friday and can make it through the airport without incident. At least we have a direct flight.

Off to get ready for dinner. It's D's birthday dinner at the Buckhorn Exchange!

Monday, June 16, 2008

Stim day 12

Today we moved residences down to a hotel *much* closer to CCRM. The good thing about the hotel is the free breakfast and high speed internet...oh, and there's an IHOP next door! We loved staying with friends (thanks Sarah and Matt!!!) but it was 62 miles each way to the Dr's office. And D needs to be online for work, which wasn't possible at their house.

Follie watch 2008 update: 11-12ish follicles growing today. Dr Surrey was on the fence on when to trigger me, but decided to hold off. So now I'll do the trigger probably on Wednesday for a Thursday ER. Since this is our last IVF, and based on my tests, I think he's wanting to grow as many of these follicles as large as possible for as long as possible. That's fine by me, but I could really do without the welts (thanks repronex) and bruises (user error from the lupron).

One of the appointments today was with a genetic counsellor to go over what all is involved with the CGH testing we're doing. For some reason I was under the impression that the embryos were frozen at 2 cells. Turns out they (try to) grow them out to 5 days before taking the biopsy. After taking the biopsy they are vitrified. This terrifies me for several reasons. IVF 1 only got us 2 crappy embryos in the first place, and IVF 2 had a better quantity, but the ones we didn't transfer all arrested on day 4. Who's to say we'll even make it to day five for them to even have a chance to do the biopsy. The counsellor lady said that sometimes they'll do it on day 3 or 4 if things aren't looking good, but they really try to grow the embryos to day 5. Ugh.
So NOW I pretty much don't care what the results are, if they make it to day 5 I'll be shocked.

Not sure what our plans are for Tuesday. U/s appt in the AM. D wants to go down/up to Colorado Springs and up the train at Pike's Peak. I'm not sure if my lungs would like that altitude change (walking down a hall briskly still makes me cough). Other options include a tour of the Coors brewery, go to Boulder, or go to the local mall! You know, options, options!

Sunday, June 15, 2008

stim day 11

Today's appt was bright and early at 7:30am. Welcome to my Sunday. We welcomed 11 follicles to the u/s screen this morning. Most in the 17-19mm range. 2 were over 20mm, which is great. We'll probably trigger tomorrow, with the ER on Tuesday. More details as I find them out tomorrow.

Tomorrow is going to be a busy day-- between the 2 of us we have 4 appointments. Much to D's dismay, he is probably going to have to do a blood draw while out here. If you recall, it was quite the production in December.

Today we went up to Estes Park with friends, photos below.
View of Long's Peak.

Evidence that We Were Here.

I would also like to thank everyone back home who is taking care of our (many) animals and our home. At last count there are about 10 people helping 'hold down the fort' while we're gone. Also to Al and Sarah for their help in making this possible.
It's been a long road... are we there yet?

Also! Today was D's 33rd birthday, celebrated with beer, a fabulous homemade cheesecake (thanks Sarah!), and coveted Redskins tickets. Not too shabby. I love you!

Saturday, June 14, 2008

"like a spa"

This morning was my 1st u/s at the main CCRM office. It really was like a spa. There was a waterfall in the 2 story entryway/ reception area and their check-in desk featured brocures on stress management, relaxation, and accupuncture retreats. The photo above is the view from the parking lot. Can you stand it?!?!!!

Today there were 7ish follicles in the 15mm range. Meds stay the same, and I have to go back tomorrow for another scan. Unfortunately the nurse didn't say what my E2 level was... *shrug*.
After that we went on a lovely hike at Rabbit Mountain with friends. I don't think I got burned either. Bonus! We saw some neat wildflowers, prairie dogs, and great views of the snow caps.

This is a view from the hike.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Stim day 8

Today was my first u/s appt out here at CCRM. Their equipment still blows me away. Anywho, there were 7 follicles in the 10mm range, so they definitely need to cook for a while longer. It's a good start. My E2 was 758.

Per Cindy's question, we're doing ER only because of the CGH testing. Because of how long the testing takes, they have to freeze all. Then based on the results, you schedule a FET. Depending on the results we may transfer to me or a surro, or it's completely possible that there are no viable embryos, in which case it's game over.

Right now I have NO expectations of a baby at the end of this cycle, which for me is just fine. This is just what DH needs for closure, so be it.

"business or pleasure?"

For some reason today the question of the day was whether my trip was for "business or pleasure?". Ummm.... well.... you see... it's kind of complicated. I'd really love a T-shirt that said "I went all the way out to CCRM and all I got was this tshirt!" Heh. That'd be one $$$$$ shirt, that's for sure!

As you may have guessed, I made the trip out to Denver this morning, compliments of United Airlines and a very expensive plane ticket. My first appointment is tomorrow morning for the usual ultrasound and blood work. I had a scan yesterday back home and the Dr. found FIVE follicles. Tho I swear he only checked one side. Regardless, five is wonderful b/c last cycle at this point there were none to be seen on the u/s, and I was just waiting for the cycle to be cancelled.
Five is good.

The weather is lovely, there is zero humidity, and I can see gorgeous snow capped mountains in the distance from my friend Sarah's house. These views beat home, any day of the week.

I have one or two days left on my antibiotic for the bronchitis I picked up. My cough is at least productive now. Annoying, but productive. The cycle meds are lots-of-fun. The repronex is leaving welts, and for some reason the lupron is bruising me. SO attractive. Oh and I'm having some metallic taste food aversions. Lettuce is a definite gross food at the moment. Surprisingly, chocolate is still palatable. LOL

Saturday, June 7, 2008

While in Colorado...

We're going to go here for D's birthday dinner.
The Buckhorn Exchange

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Now featuring bronchitis

*sniff*, *gasp*, *sneeze*, *cough*

I got a lovely diagnosis of bronchitis at the Dr. today. Oh, and IVF safe antibiotics and an inhaler. One of my neighbors is convinced I have pneumonia. Where'd you get this, you ask? From MOWING THE GRASS on Friday. I'm (deathly) allergic to grass, and the Dr said it was not impossible for this to be the result. Friggin' allergies. I am very much looking forward to starting my allergy shots once this IVF crap is done with for good. Before TTC I was on an inhaler, pills, and 2 shots a week for my allergies. But b/c of interactions, etc., I had to go off those meds. Let's not even talk about the pets.

Today I started Lupron (was supposed to be yesterday, but there was a pharmacy mix-up). Tomorrow I start the stims.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Welcome back!

You've probably landed here wondering what's new...
Well, a lot!

We had some unexpected news from the last of our tests with CCRM and the RE basically told us we needed to cycle ASAP.  My FSH is going up and AMH is borderline.  Since I am a poor responder with a very low antral follicle count, we don't have numbers on our side.  There is no time to lose.
SO, we're going to Colorado for a little impromptu 'vacation'.  I leave on 6/11 and David on 6/13.  We'll be there until the 20th, hopefully not longer.  It really just depends on how I react (how well I grow eggs) to the meds.

I received the first box of meds today.  Picture will be forthcoming!

The cycle details, because I know some of you are interested in such intricacies.
Protocol: microdose lupron flare
Meds: BCP Ortho-Novum, microdose Lupron, Gonal-f, Repronex.
Dosage: 2amps Repronex am, 300iu gonal-f pm.

I pretty much talk to the nurses daily as we communicate back and forth about the meds, current scans, and appointments.  

Today's CD3 scan went well,  NO CYSTS.  Those nasty cysts were an issue with IVFs 1 and 2.  I was pleasantly surprised to see there were none today.  
Stims (gonal-f / repronex) start on Thursday.  Lupron started today.  In case you're keeping count, that would be 6 shots a day for the immediate future.

On the up side... there's a Nordie's Rack (outlet) store in Denver, and I get to spend some time with my lovely friend Sarah from high school.  It shouldn't be snowing in June, and I should get to see some mountains up close this time.  Cool.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Do you need inner peace?

This was too funny to not share!!!

Sunday, January 20, 2008

"Are you sure you want kids?"

I heard this question *twice* this weekend.  

Um... gee, no, now that you mention it.  Maybe I don't want kids!  The whining, screaming, throwing, diapering and all that is really too much for me to deal with.  I decided last year that we just had too much money and nothing to do with it.  And I *love* needles and hormones.  So D and I decided that taking up IVF would be a good hobby.   I just really loved getting the huge boxes of synthetic hormones in the mail.  It was like Christmas!  Who needs to keep fruits and veggies in their fridge when you can have brav*lle and menop*r instead?  SO much better!

Ok, now that I have that off my chest I'll give you a 'real' update.  I am both optimistic and pessimistic at the same time.  Optimistic that we will have a child someday- insofar that I bought some lovely high-end baby furniture off Cr*igslist for a steal.  It needs repainted, but I can do that.  Pessimistic because there will be no 2008 baby in our house.  Because of the MFI, we have to do IVF to get (viably) pregnant.  I have decided I need to get some other Things taken care of before even considering IVF again.  That will definitely not be anytime soon, if at all.  I do _not_ want to do another cycle.  Since we do not have conclusive evidence that I can carry a pregnancy, a Good Friend has offered to be a gestational surrogate for us (our embryo, her body). The hitch is with the timing, because she wants to complete their family first.  (Who am I to complain about that, given her generosity?)  That process wouldn't be able to begin until at least late 2009.  
So here we are back in January 2008, trying to decide and agree on what (if anything) to do in regards to starting a Family of our own.  
Living permanently child-free is NOT an option.

Monday, January 14, 2008

This just in

The follow-up appt went relatively well.  Unfortunately the RE still wants me to do the Clomid Challenge Test before we commit to doing another IVF or go the DE route.  I'll do that next cycle, but I'm unsure if I want to do another IVF cycle at all.   My test results came back all borderline, and then there's the blood flow thing.  The RE (who didn't seem too phased by it) said there wasn't much research done in that area, but that he thought it effected implantation more than anything, and that the accupuncture could help counteract that somewhat.

So, we're still on the fence, the balancing act is 'business as usual'.  I'm looking at other options, you know... 'what if's and all of that.    

Thursday, January 10, 2008

New year, more waiting.

Here's what we've learned thus far from the day-o-testing in December out at CCRM.
K: all chromosomes OK, not a carrier for Fragile X, very constricted uterine blood flow.
D: all chromosomes OK, not a carrier for Fragile X.
Everything else will be reviewed at our follow-up appointment next Monday. 

I do have to tell you I'm afraid of what the RE will say.  Compliments of Dr. G**gle, I think the blood flow think might be the deal breaker.  Now this might be completely false, but *still*.  If it wasn't potentially a problem, why would they test/look for it?

Over the summer, we had dinner with some friends who had just signed with an adoption agency that day.  I found out last night that they were leaving today for Uzbekistan to meet their new daughter.   Fabulous for them, but my heart did sink a bit.  Lapped yet again, by adoption no less!  

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Happy New Year

Here's hoping 2008 is better than 2007!
(on the beach with Hannah, our blind Rat Terrier)
Our holidays were quiet. December was filled with the requisite Christmas parties of friends and coworkers. And let's not forget the jaunt out to CCRM for our one-day-workup. Oh, and no, we don't have any results back yet. We hope to hear something in the next week.

We spent Christmas in South Carolina visiting Family. It is sometimes bittersweet, knowing how important it is to carry on the family in a new generation. Something we have yet to be able to do.

On a positive note, in wrapping up my thoughts on 2007 I realized I hadn't had a miscarriage all year. I guess that's *something*!