Monday, September 10, 2007

It's OK... no wait, it's NOT OK

I thought I was OK with my resignation that pregnancy happens to everyone else but me. I had almost convinced myself that that was ok.
Then my neighbors across the street announced they're pregnant. With TWINS. Ugh.
We go out to a lovely adult dinner without friends' kids, and I made the Very Bad Choice to sit between 2 people w/ kids close in age. Funny thing, I had nothing to contribute to the conversation on potty training, preschool, NickJr TV, dora, etc., so I just sat there. I usually don't finish eating before everyone else, but what else was there to do?
Now another friend thinks she might be pg. With #3. Just because she missed ONE Pill. How in the world can it be that easy for everyone else?

Everyone but me.

So, I have a wishful to do list to file in the "someday" category.
1. buy diapers
2. complain about a sleepless night w/ baby
3. brag about what cute thing my kid did last week
4. save money for the kid's college fund. Apparently said child has to be born before you can open one of those savings accts!
5. be caught off guard with a pregnancy
6. plan a kid's birthday party.
7. hear someone call me mommy
8. plan day around nap times

In reality my to do list is quite different:
1. pick up dog from vet tomorrow
2. check on mortgage rates for rental property
3. coordinate dog transport
4. buy birthday present for nephew
5. vacuum basement
6. paint guest bathroom
7. reseed front yard
8. go out for sushi with (non kid having) friends
9. walk dogs... often and frequently
10. go to the grocery store

And so it goes in my world. I feel completely left out. Where was that bus that I missed? Did it leave 10 years ago? 5 years ago, or what? Having children seems like a huge members only club, no guest day passes allowed. I'm sorry, but being the "cool aunt" just doesn't cut it. So I don't even try. I think "aunt" is one of those bad 4 letter words, really.

Enough ranting for one evening. I think the coast is clear at the grocery store (gotta avoid those moms and babies at the store during the mid-day).


Cindy said...

Hugs, hon.

tryingin2007 said...

I can totally relate to your "reality list." mine would be very similar. I actually did buy diapers just a few days ago. it was thrilling -- for just a moment! however they were for our dog who is undergoing chemotherapy for multiple cancers. he was so sick and required pampers because he couldn't control his belly. it's just all so sad.