Do you need inner peace?

This was too funny to not share!!!

"Are you sure you want kids?"

I heard this question *twice* this weekend.  

Um... gee, no, now that you mention it.  Maybe I don't want kids!  The whining, screaming, throwing, diapering and all that is really too much for me to deal with.  I decided last year that we just had too much money and nothing to do with it.  And I *love* needles and hormones.  So D and I decided that taking up IVF would be a good hobby.   I just really loved getting the huge boxes of synthetic hormones in the mail.  It was like Christmas!  Who needs to keep fruits and veggies in their fridge when you can have brav*lle and menop*r instead?  SO much better!

Ok, now that I have that off my chest I'll give you a 'real' update.  I am both optimistic and pessimistic at the same time.  Optimistic that we will have a child someday- insofar that I bought some lovely high-end baby furniture off Cr*igslist for a steal.  It needs repainted, but I can do that.  Pessimistic because there will be no 2008 baby in our house.  Because of the MFI, we have to do IVF to get (viably) pregnant.  I have decided I need to get some other Things taken care of before even considering IVF again.  That will definitely not be anytime soon, if at all.  I do _not_ want to do another cycle.  Since we do not have conclusive evidence that I can carry a pregnancy, a Good Friend has offered to be a gestational surrogate for us (our embryo, her body). The hitch is with the timing, because she wants to complete their family first.  (Who am I to complain about that, given her generosity?)  That process wouldn't be able to begin until at least late 2009.  

So here we are back in January 2008, trying to decide and agree on what (if anything) to do in regards to starting a Family of our own.  

Living permanently child-free is NOT an option.

This just in

The follow-up appt went relatively well.  Unfortunately the RE still wants me to do the Clomid Challenge Test before we commit to doing another IVF or go the DE route.  I'll do that next cycle, but I'm unsure if I want to do another IVF cycle at all.   My test results came back all borderline, and then there's the blood flow thing.  The RE (who didn't seem too phased by it) said there wasn't much research done in that area, but that he thought it effected implantation more than anything, and that the accupuncture could help counteract that somewhat.

So, we're still on the fence, the balancing act is 'business as usual'.  I'm looking at other options, you know... 'what if's and all of that.    

New year, more waiting.

Here's what we've learned thus far from the day-o-testing in December out at CCRM.

K: all chromosomes OK, not a carrier for Fragile X, very constricted uterine blood flow.

D: all chromosomes OK, not a carrier for Fragile X.

Everything else will be reviewed at our follow-up appointment next Monday. 

I do have to tell you I'm afraid of what the RE will say.  Compliments of Dr. G**gle, I think the blood flow think might be the deal breaker.  Now this might be completely false, but *still*.  If it wasn't potentially a problem, why would they test/look for it?

Over the summer, we had dinner with some friends who had just signed with an adoption agency that day.  I found out last night that they were leaving today for Uzbekistan to meet their new daughter.   Fabulous for them, but my heart did sink a bit.  Lapped yet again, by adoption no less!  

Happy New Year

Here's hoping 2008 is better than 2007!

(on the beach with Hannah, our blind Rat Terrier)
Our holidays were quiet. December was filled with the requisite Christmas parties of friends and coworkers. And let's not forget the jaunt out to CCRM for our one-day-workup. Oh, and no, we don't have any results back yet. We hope to hear something in the next week.

We spent Christmas in South Carolina visiting Family. It is sometimes bittersweet, knowing how important it is to carry on the family in a new generation. Something we have yet to be able to do.

On a positive note, in wrapping up my thoughts on 2007 I realized I hadn't had a miscarriage all year. I guess that's *something*!