Thursday, January 1, 2009

A new year, a new beginning

I haven't posted recently because I haven't had much to say. We travelled to see my parents over Christmas, and now we have a house full of family (in laws) for more holiday festivities.

I am clearly showing these days, (pictures to follow, I promise!) but I'm not feeling any movement yet. It still seems rather surreal. Like the ball could just drop at any moment, and voila, we still don't have a baby. As I told my SIL this eve, I don't think I'll truly calm down until the baby is born. See? Even just referring to *him* as 'the baby'? I'm trying to keep my distance. We even have a name picked out, but I'm just nervous about putting all of those emotions on the baby, you know?

I'm still waiting for my guarantee of a baby... my ticker tells me how much longer I have to wait. This pregnancy thing is for the birds. Interestingly, I was never one of those women who just 'had' to be pregnant. It's one of those experiences I was rather ambivalent about. And honestly so far, I am *NOT* impressed with this whole pregnancy crap. Just give me the kid already, ok?
Because of those sentiments, adoption (we're looking at Russian adoption) seems perfect on all counts. You sign on the line and they get you a kid. *poof* The kid is about 12 months old-- none of the newborn stuff to deal with. Ok, yes, there are usually significant *other* issues to be dealt with. I'm just using this as an example!

Anywho, there might be a light at the end of the tunnel. So of course then people ask what we're going to do about #2. Riiiiiiight. Great call asking a pregnant chick what her plans are for being pregnant again. Since a natural conception is not possible for us (read the right hand column if you've forgotten that we have ISSUES), it's either back for another IVF/ICSI cycle, or adopt. BUT... our RE said we had to cycle when we did in June 07 because my eggs are crap and if we waited longer we'd be talking donor eggs for sure. So do we take the chance that it doesn't work? Or go straight to adoption for *double the money*. It's a tough call.

For the moment, this preggo chick greatly appreciated the key lime pie her SIL brought with her. The baby *needs* pie.

9 comments:

Away2me (Deanna) said...

Just in case you weren't kidding. ( I think you were) It isn't as simple as just signing on the line and "poof" you get a kid.

Trust me! IVF and pregnancy has been 1000 times easier than adoption. But I'm so thankful we adopted.

Happy New Year.

Shannon said...

MMM--my baby *needs* pie, too. You know where to send any leftovers!! :) I agree that the pregnancy stuff is for the birds. Enjoy the second trimester because the 3rd has been really crappy for me.

DAVs said...

I only wish it were as easy as signing on the line and poof, but I got your sarcasm!

I have *no* idea why it's always been super important to me to have the pregnancy thing--something pre-programmed into me maybe? Call me crazy, but I'm still pushing for it!

Glad you're feeling better, starting to show, and enjoying PIE!! Can't wait to see the pics!

Cindy said...

It's about darn time for some pics. You definitely have a super-cute baby belly these days! I can't wait to see it grow.

Lost in Space said...

Mmmmm, key lime pie. (-;

I so wish I shared your thoughts on not needing the pregnancy experience. I crave every last part of it and know I will have some really deep grieving to do if it never happens.

I am excited for the day you can feel more connected. I can imagine it is so hard after waiting so long and facing so many disappointments. May each day bring you one step closer. Hugs.

Laurie said...

I know you were kidding...but have to comment here...that for me gathering the paperwork for a dossier for a foreign adoption was a hellava lot harder than being pregnant and giving birth. And I had a pretty painful labor/delivery. Hope the rest of your pregnancy goes well and it starts feeling real to you soon. It didn't feel real to me either until I held my baby and was like OMG it was a real baby in there?! :-)

Anniep said...

You all are correct- I was being sarcastic on the adoption stuff being easier... it's just a totally different process. I just want a stinkin' guarantee.
Thanks for the support guys!

MamaSoon said...

That was soooo cute about the pie. I think I'd be over the pregnancy bit too. I mean the 10 months are great for wrapping your mind around things and getting your ducks in a row but the barfing and distorting is not for faint of heart. You are rockin' it though. I hope the pie was good. Happy New Year.

Polly Gamwich said...

As if waiting for conception isn't hard enough ... waiting for a successful birth has to be TORTURE!!

And what is it with people asking you about #2 - hello you're knee deep with number 1? It's like when ppl ask me if I've thought of adoption ... I always respond with ... "adoption, what's that?" ... idiots.

Enjoy that pie!