Beta is in!

HCG = 91
(will update more later!)

peestick parade: BETA DAY

Here are this morning's peesticks:


I went in for my beta this morning. It only took the tech 2 tries today. (That's a good thing!) I probably won't hear anything until late afternoon because of the time difference between here (Ohio) and Colorado.

I'll update as soon as I hear ANYTHING ! ! !

The peestick parade, day 2.

Ok, there was some confusion yesterday amongst the non-peestick initiated... the presence of TWO lines on either test makes it a positive test. Regardless of how dark each of the lines are. SO, with todays sticks (stick=home pregnancy test in case you really have no idea what you're looking at) the lines appear a little bit darker. Generally that means the level of HCG in my body is going up. HCG is the pregnancy hormone that an embryo creates when it implants in your (my) uterus.

Now, is everyone crystal clear on this? Mom? Sarah? Margaret?

Day 3: well, that didn't last long!

This photo speaks for itself...



(OK, edited to add that there are TWO LINES on each of those tests, which means that those are POSITIVE pregnancy tests... *ahem* mom.)

Day 2: not testing.

So far so good. I have not POAS. I have not even gone to a store and contemplated buying any! *so proud*. The only other 'news' here is that we have officially become a part of the 21st century and now have HDTV. It's niiiiiiice!

I did a little research last night and discovered that on my past two IVF cycles I had been spotting already by 10dpo. The difference at this point is that I've never been on estrogen meds, only progesterone. So now I'm on both, and I hazard to say that it might be making a difference.

*sigh* Tuesday is still forever away...

Day 1: not testing.

So I accidentally found a peestick in a drawer. Expiration date 9/2008. Hmmmm! But wait, it gets better because you know what? I didn't pee on it! I put it back in the drawer and proceeded with my day. I guess I'm taking it one day at a time, and today I have NOT POAS. (POAS= peed on a stick) Beta is on Tuesday and D told me last night he has to be out of town for work on Tuesday, leaving Monday night. Impeccable timing, don't you think? We should be able to do a 3way call for the news on Tuesday. I am NOT hearing it alone.

Neuroses...

Well, I could be having symptoms, it could be all in my head, it could be the meds. I have no idea what actual pregnancy 'symptoms' are.
I feel a little bloated, it could be the bag of powdered donuts I ate earlier in the week.
The girls are a bit bigger, it could be the progesterone...
The girls are a little sensitive, too. Also a progesterone side effect.
My stomach feels like I'm hungry, but I just ate dinner.

It could be nothing... it could be SOMETHING.

Tomorrow is 10dpo and I could plausibly test and get 'results'. Or I could get nothing. I DO NOT want to see nothing, so I'm terrified of testing. But yet I want to know... but I don't want to know. Ugh. Tuesday is a very long time from now.

Home to wait

We arrived home uneventfully. The dogs were Very Excited to see us and I suspect we'll have all of the cats in bed with us tonight. A HUGE thank you goes out to my inlaws for coming in town to stay with the pets while we were gone. It's a big relief knowing we don't have anything to worry about at home.

I think I'm a bit bloated, but that also might have something to do with the bag of powdered donuts I ate while we were out there.
Bloat...fat... whatever... it's all the same until the Big Beta Day on Tuesday the 30th. (not that I'm counting!)

I also have no idea when any symptoms would start if either or both of these embryos decide to stick around. Keep in mind that anything beyond a beta (HCG blood test) of 553 is uncharted territory for me.

Headed Home

Not a whole lot to report this morning here. Well... ok, so I DID take a SHOWER which was wonderful. Nice hot water, and great water pressure! The other 'event' this morning since bed rest restrictions have been lifted is to go to the Nordie's Rack store. Ok, so I like to shop... and we don't have one anywhere close back home. It's not like I'm making a big deal about going to Target or something. :-) D thinks I'm ridiculous for wanting to shop with the 2 free hours we have. LOL. What else is there to do when I'm not supposed to exercise, break a sweat, lift more than 10 lbs and all that fun?

On the technical front, my Estrodiol level wasn't what Dr Surrey wanted it, so D had to go pick up another prescription last night. Progesterone was fine. Current med count is 3: 4 vivelle estrogen patches every other day, the prometrium hoohah pellets and the new estrace pills. Most importantly, NO SHOTS!

Ok, time to get packing, I have things to do!

Bed rest fun

Well, not really... I'm bored. Despite all of the things I brought to 'do', nothing is actually either a )fun or b) distracting when I have to be horizontal in bed all day. After some good obsessing with my friend Cynthia, I think I'm kind of zen about all of this at this point. It is what it is, and I'm not going to know jack until at least Friday (the earliest I've calculated that I can POAS).

A while ago I had talked about wanting to only transfer one of the embryos. After some discussion, and finding out their 'grades', we agreed to transfer both. D thinks it gives us the best chance of pregnancy. I think it gives us the best chances of closure. This whole CCRM experience has been in the search for answers and closure. I had gotten my closure in January when we got most of our test results. D really wanted to cycle again (easy to say when you're not the one doing the shots and hormones!) to give it one last shot. So, to make the best of that last shot, we did the CGH genetic testing on the embryos (only 3 made it to blast). Of those three, only two were normal. We had talked about only transferring one because Dr Surrey had quoted a crazy high success rate of CGH normal blasts. Then we'd have one for a sibling. But yet there's no guarantee that anything worked. That'd mean I would have to do another FET cycle, with another trip out to Colorado. I was ready to be DONE.

Adoption has always been on the table as an option, but D wanted to exhaust our biological options first. Doing two FETs just draws out the process, and at the end of the day I just want to be a MOM. Whether or not this FET works, we're at least headed in direction that will result in us being more than 'just a couple'.

I'm still nervous. Waiting sucks... esp horizontal in bed...

Wind last week

Some of you might have heard about the wind storm that hit Ohio last weekend. It was a huge deal here. 500,000 people without power, and the power company had sent their crews down to Texas to help with Ike down there! So when Ike came up to Ohio, there was no one here to fix all of the downed lines. Nice. We were very thankful that we didn't lose power, but we *did* lose half a tree. If the tree had hit 6 inches closer to the house it would have taken the house with it.

Let's obsess!

Ok, someone on one of my boards thought it looked like the guy on the right has split in two. So, here is the picture again (click on it for a bit higher resolution.) What do you all think?



Just to be crystal clear, that'd mean TRIPLET BOYS. Oh, the irony...

FET... the deets!

In case you don't want to read the whole post, here's a short summary. Transfer went well, both embryos survived thaw and were growing. We transferred both embryos, who both happen to be BOYS. I'm fine and back at the hotel on bed rest.

Now for the details, all the nitty gritty details...

We got there at 9:30am-- transfer scheduled for 11:30. But first I had to do a blood draw to check today's P4 (progesterone) and E2 (estrodiol) levels. My meds might be tweaked depending on these results. The 1st nurse couldn't get a vein at all. So she called someone else in. She got one on the first try, but then it stopped so she had to switch to the other arm and do it again to get enough blood to run both of the tests. That was Fun.

Then I was told to head up to the 2nd floor surgery area to wait for the acu. About 5 min later someone came out to take me back to my room. Everything happens in the same room for transfers. They just wheel in and out the different equipment.
First the acu lady came in, I signed paperwork and had to write a check for the acu (as with their lab, the acu people are a separate business entity). I have no idea how long the acu lasted, really. It was dark, I was probably asleep and I couldn't see a clock because I didn't have my glasses on. Maybe an hour? No idea.

I was relatively relaxed at this point (well, it's all relative, isn't it?), and I HAD TO PEE. Round two nurses come in, wheel in a u/s cart, and another cart w/ equipment on it. Amazingly, she didn't get out the dildocam. I got a regular abdomen u/s! Who knew that existed?! She had to check how full my bladder was. When I asked why (since this was never an issue or anything with my last TWO transfers) she said it helped to flatten the uterus and allowed them to more accurately place the embryos. Ok, that makes sense. She also let me 'empty my bladder' a little bit. OH, what a lovely pee... So, back to the table, I mean bed. One of the nurses came in to give me a Valium. I asked what it was for, since I was relaxed already. She said it was to relax your muscles, esp the uterine muscles. We had to wait a little bit for Dr Surrey to come in, he did some 'cleaning' down there and set up whatever he had to set up. Then the embryologist came in (Terry), and we had to confirm who we were, etc. He rolled the embryos in on a cart that was topped with a 20" monitor where we could see them. I asked if we could have a picture of them and he said they didn't do pictures. I was not to be deterred. I wanted pictures. This is the last hurrah and dammit, I want pictures. So I asked if D could take a pic of the monitor. I think they thought that was the weirdest request ever. But hey, I got my photo.


Transfer itself took maybe 10 minutes if that. Then I had to lay there for another 10 minutes. Then the acupuncture lady came back in (she was *very* chipper) for round 2 of the acu treatment. Now I should mention that I *still* had to pee but had to lay there for more acu for maybe 15 min or so. I'm sorry, but it's just not so relaxing to have to lay completely still on a table with needles all over you when you have to pee. Kind of makes it difficult to do the peepee dance! Once the acu was done, I was up and beelined it to the bathroom faster than you could blink an eye!

Random aside, they have lovely tile in their bathrooms there. Each bathroom is different, all tasteful and lovely. Anywho, I got dressed, was handed various copies of paperwork, and a nurse wheeled me out (they insist on pushing patients out in wheelchairs) to the parking lot. D had pulled the car around and was waiting. They said to put the seat all the way back in the car and lay down immediately when I got back to the hotel. I thought that was strange. I mean really, like they're going to fall out or something? I don't think so. But hey. Their success rates are what they are for a reason so who was I to challenge that?

We stopped at Heidi's for takeout for lunch. I think just to spite me, D got lox. He said it was good. It looked like puked up watermelon or something equally unpleasant. lol. Since then I've been in bed back at the hotel. I have a whole new appreciation for people who have to be on bed rest for an extended period of time. UGH. I killed a bunch of time this afternoon by accidentally falling asleep for a lovely nap. I think it might have been the Valium. I also slept like crap last night, so I really was quite tired. Let's hope I can sleep tonight!

Meet our boys

Ok, so I'm working on the detail post, but thought in the meantime you all would enjoy this photo.


The one on the left is already hatching!

Denver, trip 3

We're in Denver! I've only spoken to nurses at CCRM 3 times today (Sunday) to confirm details, when to be where, the schedule, etc.

We have to be there at 9:30am, transfer at 11:30am.

We are transferring BOTH EMBRYOS. So yes, all of our eggs are going to be in one proverbial basket. I'm going for closure, a conclusion, an ending. This is our final infertility treatment in pursuit of starting our own biological family. (wow, that seems so... well...final!)

I'll be blogging a lot more tomorrow, detailing the day, and recapping the journey. For now I think I'm going to go to bed.

Packing list,

DVDs- check
fun magazines- check
a good book - check
comfy FET outfit - check
2 days of pajamas for bed rest- check
FIXED COMPUTER - triple check
wonderful in laws to take care of pets while we're gone- check
cash from the ATM- check
patches, lots and lots of wonderful patches- check
cellphone- check
camera- check
vitamins and supplements -check

We leave tomorrow evening, via a lovely direct flight. Hopefully the car rental people are not slower than molasses! I found out today that we need to be there at 9:30am for a blood draw, then acupuncture, then the FET. After the FET I get more acupuncture, then back to the hotel for bed rest until we leave on Wednesday!

Some people have asked if we know the genders. Well, kind of. CCRM knows, but won't tell us until after the transfer. They do not want gender to be part of the decision of which embryo to transfer. SO, once the FET is done on Monday we will know the gender of the two embryos. If only one embryo sticks, and our embryos are a boy and a girl, we will still not know which one took and will have to wait until further testing around week 12. (assuming a pregnancy results from this, and I'm just NOT going there right now) Obviously if they are both one gender we'll know if it's either a single or twin pregnancy. Speaking of twins... there are lots of clauses and paperwork and signatures required that we acknowledge the risk of multiples with this procedure. I would be amiss to not mention the higher chance of identical twinning associated with assisted hatching. So I guess it is *technically* plausible to have quads if each of the embryos split into two. But, yeah, whatever. I find that almost as plausible as a live birth, too...

Suggestions needed.

Ok internets, I need your help! What in the world to do with myself during the hotel bedrest?!? That's two days of feeling just FINE, but having to stay in bed anyways. In a hotel. I've got a couple of takeout meals planned, Via Baci, Heidi's and IHop-- none of which we have at home. Other than twiddling my thumbs, what to do? What to do... I have no idea.

FET? What FET?

Well, denial-ville population one has been closed. Today I start the big meds... Let's see, there's the antibiotic, the steroid, and progesterone suppositories. Good times, good times. Thankfully (SO thankful!) no Progesterone-in-oil shots (yet)! I had an u/s and bloodwork done this morning. Everything is where it should be. Estrodiol was 553, that's good. Progesterone was .3, also good. No LH results yet. Now that I've started the meds, I get another blood draw on Friday to make sure everything is being appropriately absorbed.
What surprised me the most today was the attitude I got from the local RE doing the local monitoring. SO strange, and just unnecessary. She asked what we were doing out there, I said a frozen transfer, we cycled in June, etc. and did CGH testing. She then asked "What's CGH?" !!! What? Huh? You're a doctor, this is your job, and you don't know what CGH is? Huh? I was so taken aback I couldn't come up with the definition. It stands for Comparative Genomic Hybridization, in case you're wondering...
At any rate, current med count is 4. Estrogen patches, 2 pills, and the suppositories. Good times, good times. We leave on Sunday, return on Wednesday.
From what I can gather, the earliest I can POAS is Friday 9/26. Woah.

In non IF related updates, it's been rather stressful here. One of our dogs has terminal liver cancer, and has weeks not months to live. We also had a windstorm blow through on Sunday and have half a tree leaning against the house. No idea when the tree guys will be out to take care of the carnage.

Denial

Somehow I'm in denial about this cycle. Completely blase about it. Unphased. Oh, la de dah, we're going to Colorado in less than two weeks. I actually asked D what he wanted to do while we were out there. He said "ummm... we can't do *anything* because you'll be on *BEDREST*." Hell-o? Oh, yeah, tht's right. I guess that *is* this month, isn't it?
Nevermind that my tummy is covered in estrogen patches and the bruise on my left arm from the blood-draw lady having to fish around for my crappy vein...

I guess I'll have some news to share this time next month, huh? I could be p/g. How about them apples?!?

ramping up

This month is turning out to be surprisingly busy. (that's a good thing!)
The hardwood flooring arrived today and is being installed this weekend. I'm up to 2 patches every other day of the estrogen patches (vivelle), then it goes to 3 patches, then to 4. Those should be some mighty fine hormones!
Now, I know I promised project pictures (they're coming), but we're having some technical difficulties here. My macbook is currently at the apple hospital after one of the cats spilled crystal lite on it. We finally got the hard drive backed up this weekend. Thank GOD it wasn't fried. Anywho, I can't download the pics to the PC, so they have to wait until the mac is back. (next week)
I still need to set up accupucnture appointments, and perhaps throw in a mani/pedi, too. That reminds me, I need to call CCRM and get the accu set up for out there, too.
And just as a reminder to you all, regardless of the outcome of this cycle, it is closure for us. That is a GOOD thing. (I still don't have any expectations of a baby from this, but whatever... I'm just going with it.)